Jesus Christ

37
Jesus Christ
Image: Lifehacker


The photo above was taken at an IGA store on the 29th of January. This year, Easter Sunday takes place in April. Bloody hell.

Look. I get it. Supermarkets are a business. They need to make a buck anyway they can. If shoppers are keen to buy Resurrection-themed snacks outside of the traditional Easter window, who is IGA to stop them?

But no. Assembling an Easter display stand in January is unacceptable. There’s a line you do not ‘cross’, and this is it. The Humpty Dumpty egg above is an abomination.

Here are all the reasons why selling Easter eggs in January is flippin’ mental:

It commercialises Christianity to an absurd degree: I’m an atheist who hates organised religion – and I’m still offended by this. Keep the cynical confection peddling to the month of the actual holiday, you heathens.

It tricks young kids into thinking Easter’s just around the corner: Kids under a certain age have no concept of time. As soon as their tiny, feckless eyes spot that display stand, they’ll think the Easter bunny is coming tomorrow. They will then be bitterly disappointed for the next 60 mornings in a row. Tch.

Your children will nag you for eggs while shopping: For three months straight. Every. Single. Time. Kill me.

The temptation is prolonged: I can just about make it through the Easter long weekend without succumbing to the rapture of chocolate eggs. But three months’ worth of shopping trips? Nobody is that strong. Not even Jesus.

In conclusion, IGA needs to take down these displays before I get all Cleansing-of-the-Temple on their arse. You have been warned.

Update: Gizmodo’s editor just cheerily informed me that she picked up a box of hot cross buns on Boxing Day. I… I think I need to lie down for a bit.

Comments

  • This photo was taken at an IGA store on the 29th of February

    What year is this? February only has 28 days except on a leap year. Most recent leap year was 2016 and the next one is 2020 and it’s 2018 right now.

  • Our Woolies had their first Easter Eggs out a few days after Xmas Eve. Shit you not. I exclaimed to my wife loudly:
    “Quick we better stock up on Easter stuff before it’s too late”.
    I laughed but no fcks were given in the shop that day.

  • In the UK they have solved this problem – hot cross buns are sold all year round. Can recommend the Apple and Cinnamon ones from Waitrose.

    Bonus points for watching Michael McIntyre’s Waitrose sketch comedy.

  • It commercialises Christianity to an absurd degree:

    Easter lost its christian link long ago. Much like christmas. And for the better.

    It tricks young kids into thinking Easter’s just around the corner:

    Give your kids a wall calendar. When i was a kid i used to love crossing off days in the lead up to something.

    Your children will nag you for eggs while shopping

    As opposed to the regular nagging for stuff like confectionary and soft drink? Kids nagg for anything whenever you go to the supermarket. Supermarkets spend millions on instore marketing to ensure kids nag their parents.

    The temptation is prolonged

    Two words: Self Control

    On a more serious note Easter and gorging on choclate lost its interest to me long ago. It might be tempting to buy a whole heap and pig out on it. But before you do. Think of how your stomach will feel afterwards.

  • It commercialises Christianity to an absurd degree: I’m an atheist who hates organised religion – and I’m still offended by this. Keep the cynical confection peddling to the month of the actual holiday, you heathens.
    Feel free not to buy any of it and not celebrate it then. More delicious chocolate for the rest of us. (Easter egg chocolate always seems to have that unique flavour).

    Gizmodo’s editor just cheerily informed me that she picked up a box of hot cross buns on Boxing Day. I… I think I need to lie down for a bit.
    Since she’s back, can you ask her why commenting is no longer available on Gizmodo?

      • So why was there no announcement on this? A lot of us who regularly comment on Gizmodo would have appreciated at least an article announcing it and outlining why they decided on such a thing.

        I and several others have contacted some of the editors and have recieved no reply at all.

        The whole Gizmodo team has gone radio silent.

        • 100% agree. I was one of the ones they didn’t respond to. I wonder why they ignored us and didn’t feel the need to fill us in. I stopped going to giz shortly afterwards, found other tech sites. Interacting with commentators was the best bit. Getting different peoples thoughts etc.
          I was really frustrated at the silence from giz on the topic

        • Ahh, mystery solved. I wondered where the comments boxes had gone.
          I found the comments section such a great addition to every article on Gizmodo. It was good for at least 50% of additional information and insight. Comments made the news into a two-way street. Gizmodo Australia articles seem like they are incomplete now.
          Maybe I need to switch to Lifehacker just to feel complete.

          • Agreed. I don’t go to gizmodo anymore. Real shame, it was one of my most frequented sites till they turned off the comments

  • When I worked in a retail store, many years ago, for a large national chain I remember the first of the Easter egg pallets arriving on Christmas Eve. I still don’t know how I feel about that.

    Creme eggs etc have been on display in my local Coles since at least half way through January.

  • I’m looking forward to the day when xmas and easter eventually fuse into one long commercialised holiday period, starting from January 1st till December 31st, and Santa Bunny and Easter Claus cage fight to the death for your child’s love.

  • I saw _specials_ on easter eggs at Woolies before the new year. Not just that they were for sale, but they were on special.

    I’ve also seen easter chocolate with use-by dates before easter this year.

  • I think the horse has very much bolted on the commercialisation of Christian holidays.

    Thankfully, eggs and rabbits are part of pagan traditions. 🙂

    All they need to do now is take the cross off of the hot cross bun, and you’ve got yourself a year-round, nondenominational fruit bun.

    This would please no one; but if we can’t all be happy, none of us should be. 🙂

  • Supermarkets and food companies don’t go, oh how long is it until the next holiday? 2 months? ok lets put out the special holiday items? They just go from holiday to holiday regardless of how far away it is. As soon as Christmas is over, easter is next.

Log in to comment on this story!