Jesus Christ

Image: Lifehacker

The photo above was taken at an IGA store on the 29th of January. This year, Easter Sunday takes place in April. Bloody hell.

Look. I get it. Supermarkets are a business. They need to make a buck anyway they can. If shoppers are keen to buy Resurrection-themed snacks outside of the traditional Easter window, who is IGA to stop them?

But no. Assembling an Easter display stand in January is unacceptable. There's a line you do not 'cross', and this is it. The Humpty Dumpty egg above is an abomination.

Here are all the reasons why selling Easter eggs in January is flippin' mental:

It commercialises Christianity to an absurd degree: I'm an atheist who hates organised religion - and I'm still offended by this. Keep the cynical confection peddling to the month of the actual holiday, you heathens.

It tricks young kids into thinking Easter's just around the corner: Kids under a certain age have no concept of time. As soon as their tiny, feckless eyes spot that display stand, they'll think the Easter bunny is coming tomorrow. They will then be bitterly disappointed for the next 60 mornings in a row. Tch.

Your children will nag you for eggs while shopping: For three months straight. Every. Single. Time. Kill me.

The temptation is prolonged: I can just about make it through the Easter long weekend without succumbing to the rapture of chocolate eggs. But three months' worth of shopping trips? Nobody is that strong. Not even Jesus.

In conclusion, IGA needs to take down these displays before I get all Cleansing-of-the-Temple on their arse. You have been warned.

Update: Gizmodo's editor just cheerily informed me that she picked up a box of hot cross buns on Boxing Day. I... I think I need to lie down for a bit.


Comments

    This photo was taken at an IGA store on the 29th of February.

    Cool - a photo from the future! Can you get one of the Tatts results please.

    This photo was taken at an IGA store on the 29th of February

    What year is this? February only has 28 days except on a leap year. Most recent leap year was 2016 and the next one is 2020 and it's 2018 right now.

      ..as if a photo taken a month into the future wasn't confusing enough.

    Clearly, my brain refused to accept that Easter eggs were being sold this early in the year. The article has now been fixed.

    Our Woolies had their first Easter Eggs out a few days after Xmas Eve. Shit you not. I exclaimed to my wife loudly:
    "Quick we better stock up on Easter stuff before it's too late".
    I laughed but no fcks were given in the shop that day.

    (John 11:35) "Jesus wept."

      (John 11:36) "Jesus then took several eccys and had the sickest rave with all his mates"

    In the UK they have solved this problem - hot cross buns are sold all year round. Can recommend the Apple and Cinnamon ones from Waitrose.

    Bonus points for watching Michael McIntyre’s Waitrose sketch comedy.

    Don't Christmas decorations also go on the shelves 3 months ahead? I definitely is absurd.

      The day after Father's Day (about 5 September).
      You'll see Christmas Puddings in Coles and Woolworths, with decorations going up in Myers stores.

    It commercialises Christianity to an absurd degree:

    Easter lost its christian link long ago. Much like christmas. And for the better.

    It tricks young kids into thinking Easter's just around the corner:

    Give your kids a wall calendar. When i was a kid i used to love crossing off days in the lead up to something.

    Your children will nag you for eggs while shopping

    As opposed to the regular nagging for stuff like confectionary and soft drink? Kids nagg for anything whenever you go to the supermarket. Supermarkets spend millions on instore marketing to ensure kids nag their parents.

    The temptation is prolonged

    Two words: Self Control

    On a more serious note Easter and gorging on choclate lost its interest to me long ago. It might be tempting to buy a whole heap and pig out on it. But before you do. Think of how your stomach will feel afterwards.

    It commercialises Christianity to an absurd degree: I'm an atheist who hates organised religion - and I'm still offended by this. Keep the cynical confection peddling to the month of the actual holiday, you heathens.
    Feel free not to buy any of it and not celebrate it then. More delicious chocolate for the rest of us. (Easter egg chocolate always seems to have that unique flavour).

    Gizmodo's editor just cheerily informed me that she picked up a box of hot cross buns on Boxing Day. I... I think I need to lie down for a bit.
    Since she's back, can you ask her why commenting is no longer available on Gizmodo?

      Like many other websites, Gizmodo Australia has opted to go comments free. You can still join the conversation via their Twitter and Facebook feeds.

        Like many other websites, Gizmodo Australia has opted to go comments free.
        Is it intended that Lifehacker and Kotaku join Gizmodo and Business Insider?

          I can't speak for other sites but there are currently no plans to switch off comments on LH.

            Well that's a relief. It means I won't need to use the US version to make comments :P

        Why? Was there some particular problem that required their removal?
        I miss them. :(

        So why was there no announcement on this? A lot of us who regularly comment on Gizmodo would have appreciated at least an article announcing it and outlining why they decided on such a thing.

        I and several others have contacted some of the editors and have recieved no reply at all.

        The whole Gizmodo team has gone radio silent.

          it's probably because of your consistently terrible posts they they specifically disabled them :P

        I'm going to miss the comments - good way to engage readers and sometimes gives good weight to the article - like those worst IT experiences type articles.

    When I worked in a retail store, many years ago, for a large national chain I remember the first of the Easter egg pallets arriving on Christmas Eve. I still don't know how I feel about that.

    Creme eggs etc have been on display in my local Coles since at least half way through January.

    I'm looking forward to the day when xmas and easter eventually fuse into one long commercialised holiday period, starting from January 1st till December 31st, and Santa Bunny and Easter Claus cage fight to the death for your child's love.

    Another reason to go back to the roots of Christianity - Orthodoxy.
    The world will continually persecute Christians, our faith will only grow stronger.

    I saw _specials_ on easter eggs at Woolies before the new year. Not just that they were for sale, but they were on special.

    I've also seen easter chocolate with use-by dates before easter this year.

    I agree wholeheartedly with our esteemed author. Cleansing of the Temple, indeed...

    https://onecanhappen.files.wordpress.com/2014/05/wwjdwhip.jpg

    That said, as a fellow atheist, I have a wicked little thought sometimes about holiday commercialisation - perhaps this is pagans retaking the festivals that Christianity moved in on and used for its own? (Or in modern blogging terms, Curated)

      Perhaps next year we will see Solstice Trees being sold in early December?

    I think the horse has very much bolted on the commercialisation of Christian holidays.

    Thankfully, eggs and rabbits are part of pagan traditions. :)

    All they need to do now is take the cross off of the hot cross bun, and you’ve got yourself a year-round, nondenominational fruit bun.

    This would please no one; but if we can’t all be happy, none of us should be. :)

    Don't play the persecution card if you are a christian living in australia. Thats just offensive.

      Don't comment if you didn't read the article.

    Supermarkets and food companies don't go, oh how long is it until the next holiday? 2 months? ok lets put out the special holiday items? They just go from holiday to holiday regardless of how far away it is. As soon as Christmas is over, easter is next.

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