In the many years I’ve spent online, I’ve come across many an odd video. Remember that giant chicken that went viral? Or that clip of some kid throwing scissors into his mate’s arm? Or how about in more recent months when that TikTok video of some woman rinsing her minced meat before eating it went viral? Madness.
Anyway. Of all this ridiculous shit I’ve seen on the internet, there is one video that has impacted me more than any other. That would be the footage of a woman — her name is Stephanie, of course — cooking a tray of lasagne in the goddamn dishwasher.
The cursed video was filmed for an episode of TLC’s Extreme Cheapskates, and it’s been around for some time, but I only learnt of its existence yesterday (on Lasagne Day — so sad). Gizmodo’s fearless leader Tegan Jones treated me to the news, and I haven’t stopped complaining about it since.
You see, as someone with a very proud, very Italian family, lasagne exists as a symbol of culture and tradition to me. It’s a dish my Nonna spends hours slaving over to share with us all at important family events. It also, plainly, is delicious as hell. So seeing lasagne tossed into A DISHWASHER almost caused me to have a conniption.
What do you mean by ‘cook lasagne in the dishwasher’?
Confused? I understand. This makes no sense at all.
I’ll attempt to explain, however. In the video, old mate Stephanie shares that she likes to save some cash by cooking her lasagne while she washes her dishes in the dishwasher.
“To save money, I like to multitask with washing dishes and cooking meals with my dishwasher. I just need to make sure I wrap it really well.”
Man, even just typing this out makes me feel stressed.
Stephanie makes her lasagne, covers it with a few layers of foil and PUTS IT INTO THE DISHWASHER WITH HER DIRTY PLATES.
Apparently, with the dishwasher reaching temperatures of 170F (about 77C) it should cook the pasta in about one and a half hours, without the need to use extra energy by turning on the oven.
I mean, sure. But at what cost?! Having your lasagne — a sacred Italian dish — sit in the warm, soapy, leftover-food-filled dishwasher for 90 minutes?
It’s a sin against pasta. It’s an insult to mouths everywhere. One of her dinner guests straight told producers “this lasagne tastes like water”.
Excuse me while I hurl.
Has Gennaro Contaldo seen this? It would break his wholesome Italian heart.
Lasagne is a dish that’s meant to be a labour of love, people. And while there’s certainly space to be inventive with this traditional meal, there are a few elements you simply cannot mess with. It requires time and patience; simple but fresh ingredients; and yes, it needs to be cooked using an appliance designed for preparing food. Usually, you know, an oven.
If you’d like to watch the video yourself, you can check it out below. Just be prepared to hear the cries of Italians everywhere yelling “aiutami” (help me) as you watch.
I can respect a money-saving hack, but this? My Nonna would shed a tear. It’s worse than canned spaghetti.
If you’d like an actual recipe for lasagne, here’s a traditional take from Gennaro Contaldo (of Two Greedy Italians if you’re not familiar) and an air fryer take that’s less traditional, obviously, but more sanitary than dishwasher pasta.