Hi Lifehacker, My partner and I have been together for over two years but we’re currently going through a hard time. He keeps saying that I don’t think of “us” when we go places together; generally I can’t do anything right it seems.
One example: we were at a rally and he got upset because I walked off into the crowd and he didn’t see me look back to find him until we had finished. He’s a grown man and can look after himself but it feels like I need to hold his hand. Am I really a bad person that needs to change their thinking or is he making this relationship all about himself? Thanks, Confused
Worried girlfriend picture from Shutterstock
You’re not a bad person. It sounds like your boyfriend is a high-maintenance introvert, which is one of the worst personality combos going.
If he chucks a strop when you leave him in crowds, it probably means he feels uncomfortable socialising in unfamiliar settings. His girlfriend is his main security blanket, so when you disappear it leaves him feeling unjustly resentful. Nobody likes to admit to their social inadequacies, which means he’s probably looking for someone to blame right from the off.
In any event, these are likely to be deeply ingrained personality traits that will be incredibly hard to shake off. You basically have three options: you could continue down the same unhappy path, make an extra effort to cater to his insecurities, or dump him for a more compatible boyfriend. Whatever you decide to do, start by communicating more in a bid to smooth out the problem — you can read plenty of tête-à-tête and relationship advice in our Communication section.
Of course, this is all just pure conjecture based on your very brief explanation. If any other readers have a differing viewpoint, do share in the comments section below!
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