It’s too much to expect that you never argue with your lover, spouse, or partner in romantic crime. Here’s how you can make that argument more of a productive discussion than a constant stream of bickering.
Tagged With communication
Nathan W. Pyle, the guy behind the famous NYC etiquette cartoons, has a tip for all of you, if you’ll shut up for just one goddamn second. That’s the tip, actually: when someone says something, and now it’s your turn to talk, and you’re ready to respond emotionally and escalate the conversation, maybe hold your big mouth shut for just one little moment. Can you do that? Here’s Nathan’s multi-part Instagram post, if you can be bothered to click through and pay attention to someone else for once.
Teenagers don't enjoy talking to their parents. Actually, scratch that. Many don't talk that much to their friends either, at least not with their voices. Teenagers like to text. Walk into any establishment where teens hang out and you will see them clumped together in small groups hovering over their cell phones. Sometimes they even text the people sitting right next to them.
It's a strange way of life.
Most communities, online or offline, come with some hard boundaries: No hate speech, no threats, no harassment. But a good community recognises some more borderline behaviour — stuff that isn’t as obviously terrible but can still slowly eat away at discussion, scaring away (or annoying away) good members until only jerks are left. And it can ruin any social group, from a book club or group text to, say, Reddit.
They don't really want to debate you, those randoms who crawl into the comments of your Facebook posts and your tweets and your blog posts (hi!) asking to "debate" you over crap we should all agree on by now. You can't debate them in any meaningful way, because they are mouths without ears. You can block them or take your account private, but maybe that leaves you feeling frustrated and powerless. How do you leave this situation feeling any type of satisfaction?
If Gmail’s spam and newsletter filters are letting too much slip through, or if you use a private email service with a bad spam filter, then try this solution: quarantine all email until the sender has confirmed that they’re not spam. This is your homemade spam filter.
It's easy to be there for friends and family members during the Big Life Events, like weddings, milestone birthdays, or a new job. These are big-ticket happenings that don't take too much effort on our part, that allow us to show our appreciation for our friends simply by showing up.
While those moments can certainly be meaningful, it's all of the small, seemingly insignificant moments - the maintenance - that build your rock solid, true friendships to begin with, and add depth, comfort, support and beauty to our lives.
One of the things I constantly heard when I worked in the business world was that some people are good writers and others simply don't have that gift. When I was at school, there was a similar statement, often supported by teachers, with maths and science students "forgiven" for weaker writing skills. But it doesn't have to be that way. And while not everyone can be a Hemingway, it is possible to become a good writer.
When you're debating a topic with someone, it's in your best interest to avoid flat-out telling someone they're wrong. All it does is make the other person defensive, causing them to entrench themselves further in their beliefs. Instead, tell them all the ways they're right, then guide them to realising they're wrong on their own.