Tagged With jalopnik

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Lady Camden is back and this time she’s rocking bigger hair, a jumpsuit, slayer nails and thigh-high boots. Today’s lesson? Changing a spark plug. I promise you it’s never been done with this amount of pomp, fake lashes and blatant innuendos before.

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There are few shames deep enough to compete with that of showing up at a track day and proving yourself to be woefully, incompetently unprepared. While we all have to learn somehow, it’s still possible to identify all those silly mistakes and figure out how to prevent them before you look like a fool out there.

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As you can expect, there’s lots of strange bullshit trending on Twitter at the moment: World War Six, for example, the coronavirus, all kinds of miserable bullshit. There’s also another Tweet that’s generating an awful lot of likes—maybe not quite the scale of the global disaster ones, but still—and it brings up a question a child might ask, but not a childish question: was noted fictional hyper-intelligent mouse Stuart Little’s car a toy car, or a “real car that has simply been made to be very small.” This question can get heated, but, luckily, I think I have the answer.

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I know there is a camp of you who don’t believe in washing your cars. And that’s fine! Cars live outside and you don’t really see a point in keeping them shiny and clean. It’s a wrong take, but I respect it all the same. But here today, I bring you a practical reason to wash your car. It has to do with money.

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Most drivers are familiar with the gut-dropping feeling of running full-tilt over a speed bump. If you’re anything like me, you just clench your teeth, scream inside, and then immediately pretend that nothing happened and everything is fine. Well, friends, you’re about to see what actually, really happens to your car—in slow motion—when you go crashing over a bump and it’s just as jarring as you imagined.

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I know it’s petty and probably shitty to go after grammar, but enough is enough. I read countless comments, tweets, blogs and smoke signals from you people on the daily, and by far the most common fuckup I see comes down to pluralising cars. I cannot believe I have to reteach this to you.

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Whether you’re an evil international billionaire supervillain, seeking a new plot for your next Fast And Furious In Space script, or investigating a murder that has you wondering who exactly is in that “Starman” suit, you’ve likely thought about orchestrating an interstellar automobile heist to get your hands on Elon Musk’s Tesla Roadster. It’s currently screaming across the cosmos, having launched from earth at the tip of SpaceX’s 27-engine Falcon Heavy rocket.

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Australian Airline Qantas is running tests on a planned direct flight between Sydney, Australia and John F. Kennedy International Airport in New York. If it happens, it’ll be the longest commercial flight in the world, a marvel of aviation engineering and—based on early reports — an absolute nightmare.