Cuffing season is on the way, folks. (If you’re unfamiliar, that’s when people like to partner up over the cooler months). And that means people are looking to get cosy with a new S.O quick smart.
If that’s you, or you’re just interested in landing a partner irrespective of the season, we’d like to help. Sometimes folks need a gentle nudge when it comes to matters of the heart, so I reached out to some industry experts for a little advice.
How to get a date online:
I chatted with the team at Hinge, who explained that the magic lies in, well… seeming like a real-life person. Hinge recently launched a new feature entirely dedicated to giving users access to the best dating practices called What Works Guides. Here are six pointers from the new feature on how to be a successful dater.
1. Show us who you are:
When selecting photos, choose pictures that feature a clear view of your face. Ditch the ones with filters or sunglasses because these make it harder for us to see what you look like. Start with an unobstructed headshot, and include photos of yourself doing things you love.
2. Avoid one-word answers:
When creating your profile, avoid one-word answers that don’t reveal much about you. Show someone that you’re invested in finding a relationship by putting effort into your responses.
3. Be specific:
The more specific and open you are, the easier it is for a match to start a conversation with you. This also helps show the real you.
4. Standout by sending comments:
Sending a comment with your like helps you stand out and shows you’re invested in getting to know the other person. 71% of users say daters on Hinge have more success starting conversations when initiating interest with a comment rather than a like, so this little extra effort goes a long way!
5. Keep the conversation fresh:
Don’t be afraid to ask follow-up questions or switch to a new topic. To get past the small talk, you can ask questions such as “What’s something that makes you lose track of time?” or “What’s your go-to, pump-up song?” Research shows asking personal and thoughtful questions is the best way to get to know someone.
6. Take it to the next level:
Keep the momentum going by transitioning from messaging on the app to texting. Don’t be afraid to ask for a video date too. It’s the new coffee date — a low-pressure vibe check to assess your chemistry.
How to turn a romantic fail around:
Alita Brydon, the lady behind Bad Dates of Australia – who is currently working with Tinder – shared her slightly unexpected pointers for finding love.
Her main message: some dating ‘fails’ make for great meet-cutes.
Here are her 6 examples of how to turn a disaster into a love story:
1. Getting sick can be kind of endearing
“While it’s probably sensible to cancel a date if you’re feeling unwell, you may be surprised to know if things do go downhill, a cheeky spew can actually be good luck.
“We’re all human and sometimes accidents happen. The right match won’t mind – in fact, you may even find out their level of empathy, humour and adaptability,” she said over email.
2. Talking about your ex isn’t the end of the world
“Talking about your ex on a first date is traditionally considered a big no – and while it’s true opening the ex-files too early might get a bit awks – it’s not necessarily a sign your match is a dud.
“Sharing info on our old flames can be a sign someone’s feeling comfortable and wanting to show you that – yes – they are willing to be vulnerable.”
3. Messing up a name isn’t all that bad
“I’ve spoken to dozens of couples on Bad Dates of Melbourne who forgot their matches name, occupation or background,” Brydon shared.
“The connection you make and #vibes you feel IRL are usually stronger than the introductory chat (which usually consists predominantly of gifs) you had online.”
4. Last minute bail-outs don’t have to be deal breakers
Brydon explained that “you might be feeling a little deflated” if someone decides to pull out of a date at the last minute, and that’s understandable. But it doesn’t always mean it’s the end of the road.
“A good way to see how invested your date is, is to see if they follow up by suggesting a new time and place to meet. The more specific the better. We are living in a bit of a chaotic period at the moment – and life gets busy – so it helps to show a bit of flexibility.”
5. Be patient with bad banter
I know, you love the bantz. But sometimes chatting on an app doesn’t come naturally to people.
Brydon shared that you can get a better sense of your chemistry with someone if you “give your match a quick Face to Face in-app call to see if they are going to make a good date or use [Tinder] profile features like Prompts or Passions to get the conversation flowing. You never know where it may lead.”
6. Be open to dating people with different style to yours
Just because you imagined your forever person would be 6’2 with the style of a Calvin Klein model, doesn’t mean that’s who is right for you.
Brydon suggested being a little less superficial about fashion when it comes to love.
“Being fashionable isn’t always in someone’s jeans – but if you’re lucky, you will be. In their jeans, that is. Good dates can sometimes have weird fashion sense. Give ‘em a go,” she shared.
Now go forth and love boldly, people. If you need more advice, here’s an explainer on flirting.