Apparently The Apple Card Is Actually A Tiny Gremlin

The titanium Apple Card is a brand new credit card that launched this week in the U.S. and it’s already developed a laughable reputation. Americans are now free to enjoy all the benefits of the new card but here’s the kicker: they probably won’t want to store Apple’s credit card in their wallet.

Where Americans put it is up to them — a shoe, perhaps? — but if they have a leather wallet, it’s not a good idea to drop the titanium card inside. And jeans pockets? That’s a no-no as well. These silly suggestions are coming straight from Apple, in addition to a few quirky other handling rules users should keep in mind for their new credit card:

  • “Some fabrics, like leather and denim, might cause permanent discolouration that will not wash off.”

  • “Place your card in a slot in your wallet or billfold without touching another credit card. If two credit cards are placed in the same slot your card could become scratched.”

  • “Don’t place your titanium Apple Card in a pocket or bag that contains loose change, keys, or other potentially abrasive objects.”

  • “Store your titanium Apple Card in a wallet, pocket, or bag made of soft materials.”

Bizarre, isn’t it? I can’t recall having such byzantine rules for other high-end cards. However, credit cards from these companies don’t have the status-symbol-like finish of the Apple card, a “multi-layer coating process that’s added to the titanium base material.”

Should the Apple Card’s pristine finish get messy, the company recommends wiping it with a damp microfibre cloth. Users should use water, but if they need to get wild, they should only escalate the cleaning routine with some isopropyl alcohol. That’s it. As Apple notes:

“Don’t use window or household cleaners, compressed air, aerosol sprays, solvents, ammonia, or abrasives to clean your titanium Apple Card.” 

https://twitter.com/a/status/1164367608038088704

Apple does offer replacements for unsalvageable cards and it doesn’t appear as if this will cost you anything to do, but I wouldn’t put it past Apple to get annoyed if users keep requesting multiple new cards because of foolish actions, like having it touch the impure change in a pocket.

We can’t wait for Apple to launch a special all-white wallet that’s built to protect your card — all for a mere $120, of course — or maybe launch a special version of AppleCare for the credit card. But in all seriousness, a Space Grey card would sure be an amazing alternative, wouldn’t it?

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