Most of us are habitually friendly or agreeable in social situations, even when we probably shouldn’t be. While friendliness is generally tactful, sometimes it’s won’t serve you well in the long run.
Photo by mardy78
Nisha Balaram at Tiny Buddha rarely spoke up when she was upset, which eventually allowed others to walk all over her.
When faced with challenges or confrontations with other people, I would automatically act nice, without actually feeling that way. It was as if I was set to automatic, where by habit, I was agreeable. However, on the inside, I felt depressed and anxious whenever someone did something I did not agree with.
Nisha let her friend off the hook for flaking out on lunch plans three times in a row. She realised that by telling her it was alright, she was only encouraging her to do it again. Being automatically agreeable, even when the situation called for a little more friction, wasn’t doing her any good.
This isn’t to say you should scream at your friends whenever they do something you don’t like. But you could try voicing a contrary opinion in a meeting, or occasionally saying no when someone asks you for a favour. These are small steps you can take to avoid becoming a doormat.
Are You Too Nice? How To Be Kind and Be Good To Yourself [Tiny Buddha]
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