Make Confrontation Easier With The Phrase ‘My Understanding Is…’

Approaching other people about their mistakes can be difficult. Next time you need to talk to someone about a prickly situation, tell them your understanding of what happened for a smoother conversation.

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Confronting someone in a way that preserves your relationship can be tough. The Harvard Business Review has an example of how you can successfully have these sensitive talks:

You can say: “I’m a little confused about what occurred and why it occurred. I want to discuss it with you to see how we can move this forward.” Use phrases like “I understand that X happened…” so that if Mary sees the situation differently, she can disagree with your perspective.

You can’t control whether or not they will own up to their mistake (and its effect on others), but you can use this phrase to gather information on what they think happened. You can end the chat by asking them what they think can be done to fix the situation and move forward. Learning how to confront people with grace is one way to build stronger relationships in any aspect of your life.

Choose the Right Words in an Argument [Harvard Business Review]