It’s that time of the month and you’re in the mood. What to do? Period sex is still one of those sexual taboos that some of us might shy away from, citing logistics, cramps, and messiness. Some might even wonder, is period sex worth the hassle? The quick answer: yes!
“Generally speaking, the benefits of having sex on your period are the same benefits you get with sex during any other time,” sexpert Angie Rowntree, founder & director of the ethical porn site Sssh.com, says. “However, some women report that period sex helps them relieve cramps or feel less pain (since orgasmic contractions help the uterus to contract). Period sex also definitely satiates any cravings for extra partnered intimacy as well, so there’s both a physical and emotional component to the benefits.”
There are plenty of good—and pleasurable—reasons why you should have period sex, and there are a number of ways to enhance your and your partner’s enjoyment. Here’s what you need to know when you (or your partner) is feeling frisky during your period.
Why have sex on your period?
According to sexologist Marla Renee Stewart, MA, sexpert for Lovers, there are some great reasons to have period sex. “For starters, your menstruation blood can act as lube. If you are not using a period sponge, the blood itself can be a great source of non-stop lubrication, especially during your heaviest time,” she explains. “Also, if the sex leads to orgasm, the orgasm itself can help mitigate pain and cramps caused by your period. And although it might be hard to get there because of the pain, the end result may be worth pushing through the pain temporarily.”
Because you may be a little more (or much more) sensitive while being on your period, Stewart says it’s normal for many people to prefer to have period sex for that reason alone.
And, she adds, you still want to take the proper precautions as you would even if you weren’t on your period. “Yes, there is no chance of you getting pregnant, but the vagina is more fragile and susceptible to new bacteria and viruses because of the pH balance change.”
How can you reduce the mess?
If you and your partner are both keen on period sex, Rowntree says you both need to realize that “mess”—aka period blood—is generally part of the entire experience. “Menstrual blood has a particular texture and smell that will be different from your period-free sex, but it is nothing to stigmatize or feel ashamed about,” she says. “If your partner does feel uncomfortable, respect where they are coming from and any boundaries that they have. Remember that just because you can do something does not necessarily mean that you should. Talk to each other and only proceed if you are both aroused and comfortable.”
If you’re both down to have period sex, she says it’s as simple as using some common sense and good hygiene to ensure your bed linens are protected, or properly cared for in the event of staining—like using a dark-colored towel on the bed or couch—or skip the sheets and go lather each other up in the shower.
What positions are best for period sex?
When it comes to the best positions for period sex, Stewart says it’s important to try out sexual positions that put your body at ease “because you are more sensitive during that time. You don’t want to overextend yourself, especially as there might be an added layer of ‘stress’ to the sexual experience.” So think missionary position, spooning, or doggy.
Rowntree says there really aren’t any magical “period sex positions” that are drastically different from non-period sex. Instead she recommends going with whatever feels good to you both. “Again, since menstrual blood can act as a natural lubricant, it can’t hurt to take advantage of more ‘lube,’ she says. “Of course, if your partner is extra-aroused or feeling more physically sensitive, definitely bear that in mind if you are engaging in deep penetration (or nipple play too for that matter, since some women experience increased breast sensitivity during their cycle).”
For non-penetrative play, Rowntree suggests engaging in oral sex, fingering, or mutual masturbation, or feel free to play with toys. “As always, be sure to keep the lines of communication open throughout play time so you both have an enjoyable experience—and that goes for whether she’s on her period or not,” she says.
Can you have oral sex while on your period?
Yes, says Rowntree, provided you and your partner are both tested and free from any STIs. “Even though menstruation is not due to an open wound, you still would be in direct contact with blood, so it’s important to mitigate any health risks.”
Stewart adds that you would take the same precautions as you would with regard to fluids, as if you were/are a squirter, including using barrier methods of protection. She also suggests placing down large puppy pads, a waterproof sex blanket, or a large towel so that you keep the fluid in a confined area.
What if you still feel weird about period sex?
If you still feel a little weird about having sex on your period, relax. According to Stewart, this is normal. “[Getting] to a place where you don’t care about being on your period takes a little bit of practice, and also some reassurance from a lover who is open and willing to be a part of the experience,” she says. “If you’re self-conscious about the fluid getting on things, make sure that you prepare for that ahead of time. That means, you should get some wet wipes and other things that would help you to feel better about the spreading of the fluid itself.”
Image Credit: Ian Moore
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