This Is the Best Way to Test if a Sex Toy Is Any Good

This Is the Best Way to Test if a Sex Toy Is Any Good
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With the absolute tsunami of products hitting the sex toy market of late, it can be difficult to tell which option is going to be best for you. Sure, reviews offer a good indication of public opinion (case in point, TikTok’s beloved rose vibrator) and advice from sexual educators can also be helpful when learning about the big wide world of sexy technology out there. But nothing really compares to testing out the merchandise for yourself… and no, I don’t mean taking a toy home and using it as intended.

During a recent tour of Berlin’s Lovehoney Group SexTech Campus, Dan Shor, the company’s Research and Development Engineer clued us in on the best way to test a sex toy out.

How to test if a suction sex toy is good at its job

The simplest advice Shor offered here was with regard to oral sex simulators, you know, the toys with a suction functionality built into them?

He explained that most of the time, when people get these sex toys in their hands, (there are options for both penis and vulva owners here, by the way) they hold them out in front of them and put a finger against the suction area.

This won’t give you a good indication of how the toy gets to work (added italics for a sexy emphasis), he stressed.

If you want to get a good sense of how a toy simulates oral sex, you should completely cover the suction hole with your hand. If you seal the hole with the palm of your hand, you’ll get a more accurate idea of the sensation it offers.

And put simply: “if it leaves your skin a little red, it’s probably good,” Shor said.

How engineers test toys

Where things got really cool, however, was when I was walked through the entire (very thorough) development process engineers take when testing out new sex toys at Lovehoney.

From testing if vibrators can sustain up to 10,000 bends, to measuring a toy’s pressure consistency and general wear and tear, it can take up to 5 years before a toy is considered ready to go out to market.

Personally, the testing procedures that I got the biggest kick out of were a little sound box that measured the volume of toys (it looked like a tiny sex toy recording studio) and a drop mat that does what it says on the tin.

sex toy testing
The We-Vibe Nova 2 getting her shot to record her first album/being tested for sound. Image credit: Lifehacker Austrtalia

Sometimes, things get dropped. Engineers need to test for that. Credit: Lifehacker Australia

There was also a very realistic testing process for penis toys like Arcwave’s products. Essentially, there’s a machine that uses fake peens and lots of lube to pump into toys and test how they hold up.

sex toy testing
Think it’s pretty clear what’s going on here… Credit: Lifehacker Australia

Real-life sex toy testers

Then there’s the human side of it all. Shor explained that there are thousands of testers who assist with the process of finding kinks (pun intended) in the toys’ functionality and reporting back on how good of a time they had. What a job.

In a nutshell, folks sign up to join the community of testers and they will be given points that go towards getting free toys. Elisabeth Neumann, Lovehoney Group’s User Testing Expert, explained that testers will be given two to three weeks to try out a toy, after which they’ll be invited back for interviews about the whole experience.

(Before you ask, I’m sorry to report that Australia isn’t yet on the list of countries included in the testing community – but fingers crossed that’ll change soon!)

What else did I learn?

The testing process that goes into sex toy development is far more involved than I ever imagined. And as much as I may have giggled at the sex toy recording studio and pump station, these are all significant parts of a very important procedure.

As my tour through the Lovehoney Group’s SexTech Campus highlighted, toy testing is a lengthy journey with a lot of steps and it’s all taken very seriously (as it should be). These are the most intimate kinds of products a person can buy; you want to know with full certainty that comfort and enjoyment have been considered at every stage of development, no?


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At Lifehacker, we independently select and write about stuff we love and think you'll like too. We have affiliate and advertising partnerships, which means we may collect a share of sales or other compensation from the links on this page. BTW – prices are accurate and items in stock at the time of posting.

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