New research has discovered a link between female sexual desire and male genital size. No really. Researchers from the Australian National University asked female subjects to rate a series of life-sized, computer-generated images of naked men in terms of attractiveness. They discovered that the bigger the penis, the higher the attraction rating. (In more depressing news, this is where your tax dollars are going.)
Groin picture from Shutterstock
For the basis of the study, researchers used a series of digitally projected life-size videos of naked men exhibiting a range of different heights, penis lengths and shoulder-to-hip ratios. The female participants comprised 71.8 per cent European, 20.9% per cent Asian, and 7.3 per cent "from elsewhere" with an average age of 26 years old.
The researchers found that males with a larger penis were rated as being relatively more attractive, although the proportional increase in attractiveness began to decrease once the penis reached a certain size. In other words, while bigger is better, most women draw the line at freakishly huge.
Height and shoulder-to-hip ratio also influenced a male’s relative attractiveness, with taller, broad-shouldered men being rated as the most attractive. In a blow to short guys, men with below-average height were rated a lot less favourably than their taller counterparts — regardless of penis size.
The report suggests this may be due to general discrimination against short men irrespective of the value of other traits: "so even a larger penis did little to increase their net attractiveness." And women say men are superficial. Tch, eh?
Amusingly, the study also noted that the female participants spent longer ogling the images of men with generous endowments, which they were able to swivel 30 degrees on either side to get a better vantage point.
"This finding is consistent with a pattern in adults whereby attractive stimuli are viewed for longer periods," the report explains. "A tendency to view attractive stimuli for longer is a generalised phenomenon that starts in infancy." So if your sexual partner spends a long time staring at your groin, consider it a good sign (so long as it's not accompanied by an incredulous smirk).
The researchers suggest that the preference for a larger penis might be linked to an association with higher rates of vaginal orgasm and thus, higher sexual satisfaction. Whatever the reason, the report goes on to conclude that this prejudice against smaller genitals may have driven the evolution of larger penises in humans:
Our results directly contradict claims that penis size is unimportant to most females. The finding suggests that selection on penis size is potentially as strong as selection on stature. Before clothing, the nonretractable human penis would have been conspicuous to potential mates. This suggests that human penis size partly evolved because of female choice.
So in the next millennium, all men are apparently going to look like John Holmes from the waist down and luxury sports cars will no longer exist. Now that's what we call a dystopian future.
On a final note, you may be interested to know that this project was funded by the Australian Research Council (ARC); a statutory agency under the Industry, Innovation, Climate Change, Science, Research and Tertiary Education portfolio within the Australian Government.
"The outcomes of ARC-funded research deliver cultural, economic, social and environmental benefits to all Australians," the organisation's website claims. We have nothing to add to this.
Do women really prefer more junk in men's trunks? Let us know in the comments section below. We can take it.