Everyone poops. But not everyone poops the same.

When my baby daughter was getting grumpy in the bathtub, and I put TLC’s “No Scrubs” on Spotify, I knew I had something special to share with the world. There are tons of bathtime songs for children, but most of them are tedious. So I made a bathtime playlist for adults (and people of any age who don’t mind some swearing and sexual references).

Video: It may seem ironic, but showers are filthy.

I love spruce-up shortcuts. Company coming to your messy home? Just clean your bathroom. Look like shit today? Slap on some red lipstick.

Here’s mine: Replace your shower curtain, and you’ll feel like you have a whole new bathroom.

Don’t bother inviting me to a dinner party, because I don’t have to snoop in your bathroom to tell you this: You have a mess in your medicine cabinet... or whatever you use for storage in there. Hundreds of plasters, but none where you need them? Expired medications? Yeah, I’ve been there too.

Ah, bathroom matters. Much like with sex, there seems to be a lot of misinformation floating around out there. Also, as with sex, reports of high numbers may be exaggerated. High pooping numbers, that is.

Your shower pipes are not like your computer — they're not supposed to be out of date and barely working within a few years. Completely replacing the plumbing system isn't something any homeowner wants to do and if you treat yours right, you shouldn't have to.

Good afternoon, here's a story about my butthole. Years ago, it was itching constantly, and I couldn't figure out why. I assumed it was dirty, so when I went to the bathroom, I always made sure to wipe extra hard. Finally a doctor had to tell me to stop that, and give my butthole a break. I did, and I stopped itching.

I tell you this humiliating story for a good reason: According to Mental Floss, a lot of you are wiping too hard as well.

OK, let's talk about a very serious topic: bath mats. Is there a right and wrong way to use them?

If you're having guests over and you only have time to clean one room, make it the bathroom.

Think cutting boards belong in the kitchen? Expand your mind! And expand your bathroom counter space! By putting a cutting board in the bathroom.

How do you hang your toilet paper? The age-old question whether the "right" way to have the end going over the top of the roll or under, coming from the side closest to the wall, is as old as time. It's a controversial topic that has torn apart families, and now we have a definitive answer to the question: The right way to hang your toilet paper is with the end going over the top.

You're at a friend's house when nature calls. So you take care of business, then flush the toilet -- and nothing happens. After a quick scan of the bathroom, you realise there's not a plunger or toilet brush in sight. Here's what you do.

Sometimes you just want some privacy, especially when you're streaming the latest episode of some must-see TV. But if you're spending your downtime binging on Terrace House, you might want to be careful where you're sitting. According to a Netflix user survey, 12 per cent of respondents admitted to watching Netflix while using a public restroom. Yeah. (How many people are watching Netflix from their home bathrooms? Netflix didn't say, but we're guessing it's a much larger percentage.)

Clipping nails, especially thick toenails, often leads to an unwanted acrobatic performance. Nail bits go flying everywhere, never to be seen again. Here's how you can stop that.

Oh great bath mat, what is the proper etiquette for using thee? We asked you wonderful people and here's what you told us.

Your bathroom might have some amazing acoustics, but the singing really should be left to the pros. Perfect for those shower-time jam sessions, the XXL Shower Speaker puts out twice the power of typical bathroom speakers, so you can actually hear your music over the running water.

Europeans use them; 60 per cent of Japan uses them; 90 per cent of Venezuelans use them. They're called bidets: Basins that jet water straight to the parts that need to be cleaned after you've used the bathroom. And according to Scientific American, they could play a major part in living a green, environmentally sustainable life. But for some reason, North Americans and Australians are not on board.

Poop can be a sensitive topic for some, but not here at Lifehacker: We have a crap ton to say about the subject, from a simple way to make yourself poop to evaluating the shape and colour of it. Today's poop-related matter? How long it should take to do the deed, according to science.