It’s only natural to want to surround yourself with people who believe in you. If you only allow people with positive things to say to get close, however, can result in choosing your friends based on how they make you feel, rather than ones who challenge you to improve.
Picture: Thomas Hawk/Flickr
As personal finance writer and entrepreneur Luke Landes explains on Consumerism Commentary, the people who disagree with you are essential to improving. Shutting them out is a natural, yet damaging self-selection process that removes any useful criticism or feedback. By only listening to the people who tell you what you want to hear, no one tells you what you need to hear:
This is a result of the “positive posse” approach. When you have no tolerance for dissent, you encourage the people closest to you to be “yes-men.” If your closest advisers (or for non-politicians, closest friends) are afraid to bring you bad news or identify opportunities for improvement, you will continue to operate without much change or adaptation. Adaptation is one of the single most important factors for long-term success.
Having emotional support is essential, but it’s important to realise when you’ve crossed the line from an encouraging group of friends or colleagues into a self-absorbed bubble. Disagreement can be beneficial and feedback, when presented constructively, is an invaluable tool.
How Your Positive Posse is Destroying You [Consumerism Commentary]
Comments
4 responses to “Get Rid Of The ‘Positive Posse’ To Find Better Feedback”
The issue is too many people cant take negative feedback or criticism.
There are probably very few people who know how to give criticism without shutting down the person it’s intended for. It does require finesse.
Maybe… but how do you nicely say you are incompetent and the only reason you where hired was because you are friends with the boss.
Haha!! you’re right! I was thinking along the lines of someone being offended or put down, rather than too proud to listen. If someone is too proud to take criticism (or just doesn’t care), it’s going to take them a lot longer to get from Point A to Point B than someone who is willing. They just aren’t doing themselves a favor. People like that will eventually get caught out, and in the worst possible way. On a side note… It always amazes me how so many people are put in a position of power when they are terrible at leading and communicating effectively.