5 Ways to Bring More Pleasure Into Your Life, According to a Sexpert

There has been a cultivation of internalised shame from society, discouraging females and femmes from exploring their sexuality and masturbation. This has made it difficult for many females and femmes to feel comfortable exploring self-pleasure and what feels good in their bodies.

Self-pleasure, and even pleasure more broadly, is highly personalised and requires exploration. Masturbation, experimentation, and the incorporation of sex toys may help females and femmes to understand their individual experiences of pleasure.

While everybody has the right to pleasure, the existence of the orgasm gap highlights the need for female and femme self-pleasure to be brought to the forefront of the conversation. So, how can females and femmes maximise their self-pleasure experience?

5 ways to maximise femme and female self-pleasure

1. Switch it up

I find that many people masturbate in the same position and environment, every single time. Why? You don’t often have sex in the same position and place, so why not spice it up for yourself, too?

If you are always lying on your back, it’s a good idea to try exploring self-pleasure while sitting up, on all fours, standing up or maybe in the shower.

You could look at incorporating erotic literature or audio to keep things interesting. If you’re a morning masturbator, you could also try before bed or even just an afternoon solo delight session.

2. Stimulate different erogenous zones

Yes, your clitoris is fun, but what about nipple stimulation, butt play, inner thighs, belly or chest?

Again, it’s about having fun and seeing where you can be creative with your erotic experiences.

Experiment with the type of stimulation you provide yourself by applying different amounts of pressure and stimuli. You may just discover a new zone in your body that you enjoy.

3. Incorporate toys

While you might see yourself as a fantastic self-lover with your right or left hand – you may not know your new favourite sensation if you haven’t tried it.

This is where toys can come in handy.

Vibrators are amazing for clitoral stimulation and can produce a very different sensation than just your fingers and hands. Personally, I love a clitoral vibrator and believe it should be a staple in every female and femme’s bedroom kit, for solo play and partnered sex.

For those who haven’t used toys before, exploring internal g-spot stimulation can be intimidating. Clitoral stimulation, on the other hand, is an easy, unintimidating and fun introduction to the world of toys.

The clitoris is the only human organ designed specifically for pleasure, so it makes perfect sense to start your masturbation journey here.

4. Edging

Want to enhance your self-pleasure? How about trying a bit of teasing?

Edging is a great way to add anticipation and an erotically-charged need to a solo session.

You can do it by first noticing when you start to get very close to orgasm, then stopping all sensation before you can reach the point of no return.

Once you’ve calmed slightly, try to start up again. You can bring yourself to the edge countless times until you are desperate for that orgasmic bliss. When you finally let yourself fall over the erotic edge, it will feel incredible.

It might take some time to work out exactly how far you can push yourself before you can’t stop that orgasm from rolling through, but at least the practice is pretty fun.

There are also a lot of amazing vibrators and clitoral stimulators that do this edging work for you with their vibration settings.

5. Make time for pleasure and exploration

Have you ever thought about making time for yourself for pleasure? Not many people do.

Self-pleasure is extremely important, if not more important than partnered pleasure. This is because you are your own best sexual partner.

Why don’t you think about creating a ritual or a solo date night? Simply start by running yourself a hot shower or bath, putting on your favourite skincare, and then jumping in some clean sheets and exploring your body.

Self-pleasure is imperative to understanding what feels good for you, and what turns you on. The only person responsible for your self-pleasure is you. It’s time to make it a priority.

Chantelle Otten is an Australian sex and relationship expert. To help push the conversation and provide education on female and femme self-pleasure, Chantelle has jumped on board as Vodka Cruiser’s ‘The Solo Project’ official expert ambassador.