This Is the Only Right Way to Serve a Mum Breakfast in Bed on Mother’s Day

“Breakfast in bed” is an enchanting concept — and is traditionally considered the proper way to serve breakfast to a mum on Mother’s Day — but runny egg yolks, pools of syrup, and cutlery of any kind add a certain amount of stress and awkwardness to something that should be relaxing. And relaxation on Mother’s Day, more than any other day of the year, is entirely the point.

Freeing mum from her bed makes any breakfast easier to consume, but if your children insist on serving their mother in her bed chambers, have the decency to serve her a breakfast board.

A breakfast board should be easy to eat, no slicing or forking required (though a little dipping and spreading is OK), and mum should be able to consume every component in one or two bites. (When in doubt, cut things up and put them on toothpicks.) This makes it much less stressful to eat breakfast in bed, if she must, but a breakfast board can be served anywhere in the house (or yard) — that is the beauty of the breakfast board; it travels well.

Your breakfast board should also be pleasing to the eyes, because the mum in your life deserves to eat artfully. What exactly goes on the board is up to you, but I have some suggestions. Feel free to mix and match any of the below, or come up with your own concept.

• Bagels and lox board: Mini bagels (or big bagels cut into quarters), cream cheese, lox, capers, and some thinly sliced red onion are musts. Add a white fish salad if you really want to wow. (This is the one I will be making for my mother, and she is pumped.)
• Pancake board: Mini pancakes with maple butter (for dipping), whipped cream (for dolloping), and fresh fruit (for your health). Mini chocolate chips and candied pecans (for sprinkling on top of the whipped cream) wouldn’t be a bad idea either.
• Waffle board: Mini waffles (make your own or buy the tiny Eggos) with all the stuff from the pancake board. Perhaps some bacon or sausage links, pre-sliced and skewered on toothpicks.
• Jam head board: This is for the mum who loves fruit spreads. Get a bunch of carbs (toast points, scones, mini croissants), and a fuckton of various jams, jellies, and preserves. You can even get a little sampler pack from Bonne Maman. Beyond fruit stuff, you can fill out the board with sharp, crumbly cheeses, clotted cream, cured meats or pâté, and very good, fancy butter.
• Bacon and egg board: This is basically the breakfast version of an un-deviled egg board. Boil some eggs until the yolks are firm with golden liquid centres, then halve them and surround them with butter, sliced radishes and blanched asparagus tips, shards of crispy bacon, caviar, really good mayo, and perhaps some cured ham (Kentucky-style, prosciutto, and jamob iberico would all work). Round it out with toast points and pimento cheese spread.
• Just a regular damn cheese and charcuterie board: I am not a mother, but I know a few, and every single one is a big fan of salty meats and cheeses. Make sure you provide a variety of both. For the cheese, I usually go with something hard, something soft, and something fun; for the meat, I’ll do something cured, something spreadable (like pâté or a terrine), and a really fancy salami (just make sure to slice it first). Add some bougie mustard, dried fruit, pickles, and really good crackers, and you have a very engaging board.
• Butter board: Some mums don’t need a heavy breakfasts of meats and cheeses and eggs; some mums just want carbs and butter, and they should get what they want. If this sounds like your mum, make a butter board, complete with very good bread (and potato chips) and as many compound butters as you can make.

Serve the board to mum in bed, on the patio, or on the couch, so that she may watch her stories. Drink pairing is up to her, but it’s hard to go wrong with a momosa.