There’s no magic bullet or divine secret to maintaining a romantic relationship – every couple is different. But if there’s one thing that’s almost always guaranteed to help, it’s more communication. And yes, even the silly, superfluous kind will do.
What was the last text message you sent to your significant other? Maybe something about dinner? Or perhaps a discussion about errands or house chores? There’s nothing wrong with that kind of communication – it’s necessary – but when was the last time you made an attempt to get your loved one laughing? Sophia Benoit at GQ suggests you send a “maintenance text” like that to your significant other at least once a day.
The key to a good maintenance text, Benoit says, is that it doesn’t convey any important information like directions, plans, requests, or bland questions like “How’s it going?” The text should be an inside joke between the two of you, a funny photo or link you think the other person would like, a bizarre dream you had about them, or anything that simply says you were thinking of the other person. Even complaining about something you know they dislike too will work. Also, these maintenance texts should be separate from your sharing of nudes, if that’s something you do together. So keep it sweet, funny, or personalised in a non-sexy way.
If you’re early on in your relationship, the maintenance text is great for when it’s been a couple of days and you haven’t seen each other. It shows the other person that you listen to them and remember the little things, like how much they like monkeys, or how they can’t stand it when people wear ties with short sleeve shirts, or that you enjoyed watching a certain TV show with them. But it’s also good for longstanding couples who want to rekindle the romance that may have fizzled some in the last couple years. As Benoit puts it, these texts say, “Hey, I’m going through life, come with me.” Who wouldn’t like that?