An Ass-ential Guide to Anal Foreplay

An Ass-ential Guide to Anal Foreplay
Contributor: Lifehacker Australia
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Anal foreplay is often overlooked, as many people think it’s just a warm-up for anal sex (and not everyone is into that). However, the entrance to the anus is packed with nerve endings, making it highly sensitive, and there’s no reason why you shouldn’t explore it during foreplay if you’re intrigued.

Foreplay isn’t just about stimulating the body, it’s also about arousing the mind. For many people, anal play feels a little bit “wrong” — which funnily enough can be a huge turn-on in itself. Sometimes the fear of rejection, judgement, or a negative reaction means the subject of anal foreplay is never broached. However, talking as openly as you can about fantasies and boundaries can bring you closer together — you may even discover shared turn-ons you never knew about.

If your curiosity has gotten the better of you and you want to try anal foreplay, there are a few things to think about before you dive right in.

anal foreplay, anal sex toys
Image: Frenchie Instagram / @__.ajc__

Get clean and comfortable

To make yourself feel as comfortable as possible beforehand, it is a good idea to have a thorough clean before you begin. Not only will a shower get you clean but it may help to relax you more too — and the more relaxed you are, the more pleasure you will get from the experience. Mentally, it might also help to go to the bathroom before you begin.

Solo stimulation

If you’ve never really dabbled in anal play before, we’d recommend exploring the sensations for yourself first, if you feel comfortable. This can mean exploring around the anus with (clean) fingers, or a vibrator or anal toy and lube (lots of lube). The anus has little natural lubrication of its own, so cover your fingers (or toy) and the entrance to the anus with plenty of anal lubricants. We love Frenchie’s Oh La La Love Lube ($24), Lovehoney’s Discover Water-Based Anal Lubricant ($14.95) or Adam and Eve’s Water-Based Anal Lubricant ($15.99).

Rim jobs are good, actually

Once you’re comfortable with that, and if your partner is keen, you can start exploring anal play together. There’s a reason rimming has become so popular in recent years. The entry to the anus is full of nerve endings that can provide pleasure in and of itself. Start with fingers, tongue, or a very small sex toy (and a lot of lube) and explore around the anus.

You may enter

Once you get used to the different sensations outside the booty, you can slowly start to enter. We say slowly because unlike in every anal porno you’ve ever watched, you should be going very slowly. Vigorously inserting anything into any hole can be damaging to the tissue inside the body and lead to things like infections, so you’re going to want to go easy on entry.

You also want to stay nice and shallow in the beginning. The nerve endings you’re trying to stimulate that cause arousal are in the anus and not all the way up there. Going too deep is generally the painful part and also the part that makes you feel like you need to poo.

Butt plugs are your friend

Before you dive right in with a dick, you should get familiar with butt plugs. Butt plugs were designed for anal foreplay and to help you get used to different depths, widths and sensations. You can buy a beginner’s butt plug kit online where you can gradually get bigger and bigger working your way up to a penis-sized plug. It makes sense that you might want to see what it feels like before committing to anal sex in a lower-stakes environment.

Hot tip: As you start to insert different-sized butt plugs, remember to breathe and relax. The tenser you are, the more you’ll contract your muscles and block the pathways to pleasure. 

Butt plugs we love

Image: Lovehoney

For beginners, we recommend Lovehoney’s Booty Bound Anal Training Silicone Butt Plug Set, $64.95. It comes with three different-sized butt plugs so you can slowly graduate from one to another for a more intense sensation.

Image: Wild Secrets

If you’re already playing around with butt plugs, we like the Satisfyer Booty Call Butt Plug Set, ($26.99). It comes as a set of three and each butt plug has a different texture and shape, so you can explore different sensations.

Image: Hot Octopuss

For more experienced booty players, we love Hot Octopuss’ PleX with Flex, ($149.95). Described as a throbbing good time, the PleX with Flex features a flexible bass that bends up to 90 degrees. This means PleX moves with your body no matter what you get up to, making it super comfortable to wear. It also has five different vibration patterns, so you can find exactly what tickles your fancy.

Double up on pleasure

If you’re finding it hard to completely let go and relax (totally understandable btw), try adding some clitoral stimulation into the mix. It can help vulva-owners to relax and become fully aroused. If you need a new mini vibrator to bring into the bedroom, we love Rosewell’s Dip, $129.95, AMO’s Bullet Vibrator, $69.95, and the Satisfyer Pro 2, $69.99.

The most important thing to remember when you’re engaging in any kind of anal foreplay is that if it hurts, stop. No good can come of pushing through the pain. Do what you’re comfortable with and do it safely.

This post has been updated since its original publication. 


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At Lifehacker, we independently select and write about stuff we love and think you'll like too. We have affiliate and advertising partnerships, which means we may collect a share of sales or other compensation from the links on this page. BTW – prices are accurate and items in stock at the time of posting.

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