Our loved ones often do things that annoy us. To soften the blow when complaining to them about it, we often preface the complaint with a positive statement like, "I love you but…" To be even kinder about it, flip the statement around.
Reddit user gcanyon says it helps to mention the complaint first, and then add the positive statement:
"But" places the emphasis on the second thing, which is often the negative, or the excuse, or the slight. Flipping the statement around puts the emphasis on the positive. Of course, you could also just say/think the positive, but if the negative needs to be considered, and least get it out of the way first and move on to the positive.
So instead of saying, "I love you, but you really need to quit smoking," you would say, "You really need to quit smoking. But I love you." It's a simple switch, but it can make a big difference in the tone of a statement.
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