There are some discussions that are difficult to have, and it’s easy to them to descend into an argument. If you need to say things that could be viewed as negative, preceding them and following them up with a more positive statement makes things easier.
small>Photo by wavebreakmedia
This hamburgering technique is something we’ve looked at before. The Simple Dollar has a number of tips to help couples talk about their finances — a breeding-ground for arguments — and builds upon this idea to help with money talk.
One suggestion is that if you need to point out a financial mistake your partner has made, you should pair it with an admission of a mistake you have made.
“When you go through statements, it’s going to be really easy to find the spending and saving errors of your partner. It’s also going to be really tempting to dredge these mistakes out front and centre and belittle your partner.
Don’t. That’s a horrible approach to take.
Whenever you choose to point out a mistake that your partner made, pair it immediately with one of your own mistakes. Instead of talking about how your partner has to change to satisfy you, talk about how you both need to make a change to make things better for both of you.”
It’s a very simple idea, but it’s one that has great potential to ease along difficult conversations. Click the link to see the full list of tips that could help with your financial discussions, and in other parts of your life.
Twenty Powerful Tips for Discussing Money Topics with Your Partner [The Simple Dollar]
Comments
One response to “Hamburger Negative Comments With Positive Ones To Avoid Money Arguments”
Harvard Business Review disagrees – they say “don’t feed them the sandwich”
http://blogs.hbr.org/2013/04/the-sandwich-approach-undermin/
(Albeit in a professional context, not a personal relationships one – but the points largely still apply)