Don’t Be Shy: Others Are Too Busy Worrying About Themselves To Notice

Don’t Be Shy: Others Are Too Busy Worrying About Themselves To Notice

Next time you’re at the gym working out, meeting someone new, or out for the first time in a new outfit, remember that most other people are preoccupied thinking about themselves, so they’re not paying attention to you and your worries.

Picture: Umberto Salvagnin/Flickr

Brett & Kate McKay explain in The Art of Manliness:

When you start feeling those symptoms of anxiety like clammy hands or butterflies in the stomach, don’t concentrate on them. Recognise those feelings for what they are (a reaction to a perceived threat), remind yourself there really isn’t a threat, and double down your focus on the person you’re with. Really listen to what they’re saying, ask follow up questions, and be genuinely curious about the person.

If you find yourself slipping back into self-conscious thoughts, remind yourself that no one is likely noticing how nervous you feel. Heck, other people probably aren’t thinking very much about you because they’re so wrapped up in their own thoughts or in what they’re about to say.

You’re definitely not the only self-conscious one in the room, and it’s OK to feel shy or anxious. Accept it, and pull your mind back to what the person is saying, listen actively and have fun.

Help for the Shy Guy: The Complete Guide to Overcoming Your Shyness [The Art of Manliness]

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