There was a time when all the single hearts of the world thought ghosting was the worst thing that could happen to them in their dating life. But then a plethora of other trends started to fruition because the gods above couldn’t bare to make the mating game too easy for us, right? From catfishing to chadfishing, pocketing, benching, cuffing, gaslighting, breadcrumbing and gatsbying, it seems there’s a bigger range of gloriously horrible dating vocab than potential partners out there. Fun.
But just when you thought that list couldn’t grow any longer and the dating pool couldn’t get any smaller, ‘mosting’ has now arrived to torture you more. Yay.
What is ‘mosting’?
“It describes when someone speaks in hyperbole about how perfect you are for them, then disappears shortly after,” she told Lifehacker. “Mosters like to operate at fast speed.”
Very shortly after meeting them, they’ll shower you with over-the-top affection, compliments and gestures to develop a deep level of emotional connection with you and then POOF! — they suddenly disappear out of thin air, leaving you wondering how such a perfect S.O. could fall off the face of the earth so quickly.
Mosting is actually nothing new and has been happening since the dawn of dating, but only now has it received a lot of attention thanks to social media, most notably TikTok.
Why do people… ‘most’ in dating?
The key message to remember here is: it has nothing to do with you. Repeat after us: it has nothing to do with you.
“Since mosting is often intense and short, it might be practised by those who are emotionally immature and is no reflection on you,” Otten stressed.
“A moster might fake or misread feelings of connection as they are flooded with dopamine and feel-good chemicals. They are looking for affirmation that they are worthy.”
Their loving actions towards you are actually authentic, but because they struggle with avoidance and commitment, they’re quickly overridden by their own insecurities.
How is it different to other dating trends like love bombing and infatuation?
It can be difficult to differentiate between all of these dating terms being thrown around, and while this 2.0 version of ghosting might sound exactly like love bombing, they’re actually very different because a moster disappears.
“Love bombing is described as grand gestures or displays of affection, typically early on in a new relationship,” Otten explains. “After showering you with affection, gifts and compliments, it can stop when they get what they want or use it as a tactic to gain control over their relationship.”
Wait. So if mosting isn’t love bombing, then isn’t it just infatuation? Well, not exactly, because remember, their actions come from a place of authenticity.
“Infatuation is romance and physical attraction combined to give a psychological high,” Otten says. “Infatuation can be superficial whereas love is deeper and relies on intimacy and attachment.”
What to do when someone you’re dating is ‘mosting’?
The phrase ‘too good to be true’ should be mosting’s motto.
“If something feels off or too good to be true in dating, it typically is,” Otten warns.
Should you ever find yourself in this situation, you’re going to have to step up and steer your new relationship at a speed that’s more comfortable for you. So, don’t be afraid to set boundaries.
“If things feel like they’re moving too fast, ask to take things slow.”
And as hard as it is to do, Otten says it’s crucial to “not get swept up in their feelings and proclamations and instead, tune into how you feel about the connection.”
Ask yourself the following questions: “Is it genuine? Do you have shared interests and values?”
If you do encounter a monster – sorry, moster – there’s a high chance you’ll never get closure, which, TBH, is expected from any emotionally immature person.
Since you’re obviously the better person here, you’re going to have to make peace with the fact that they weren’t for you. Thank your moster for giving you a newfound level of self-respect and confidence, shower yourself with some love and be open to finding the perfect person for you that wouldn’t dare leave you on read.