20 Things People Over 60 Wish They Could Tell Their Younger Selves

“If only I had done this differently…” Hands up if you’ve had this thought cross your mind before. All of us? Thought so. At some point or another, we all spend time worrying about decisions made. We approach our days like we’re in a constant race against the clock to try and use life to its full advantage. And we lose hours of our time concerned we’re taking the wrong steps when it comes to love, life and friendship.

It wasn’t until I sat down with family, friends and strangers in passing – all of whom have roamed Earth for over 60 years – and asked them to share their words of wisdom, their deepest regrets and their greatest accomplishments, that I understood what the pursuit of happiness really entails.

Through my conversations with these people, I found there was a collective understanding that over-glorified factors like success and fortune shouldn’t define our days. Instead, the secret to a well-lived life is quite simple: it’s ingrained in love from – and for – family, friends and most importantly, ourselves.

So, wherever you are in life right now, these raw, real and wholehearted pieces of advice will hopefully help you today, tomorrow, next week and years into your wonderful future.

17 people over 60 share their lessons on love, life and friendship

On love

Choose your life partner carefully

“Your partner will be responsible for the majority of your life’s happiness and misery. Don’t enter a relationship just because you need to and don’t ignore red flags just to see the good in people.” — Beatrix, 68

“Be cautious not to jump into anything too quickly. You don’t want to be prematurely moving in with them — that can get messy. You never really know someone, even after spending months or years with them. Waiting a few years to get engaged is better than rushing things. Until your intuition tells you that they’re your person, don’t settle.” — Alice, 72

“When something or someone is meant for you, you will know. You will feel calm. It will feel natural. It won’t be confusing or cause you any hurt.” — Julie, 65

Don’t change to accommodate somebody else

“Everyone always talks about ‘making a good impression’. Forget that. You don’t need to impress anyone or change yourself just to be with somebody else. And speaking of impressing, don’t be so impressed by the bare minimum — in dating and marriage. You deserve nothing but the world.” — Sandra, 65

Just tell them how you feel

“I was always falling in love or developing deep feelings for people I was dating. I was scared of telling them how I felt about them because what if it wasn’t reciprocated or they judged me? But now I know I should’ve just spoken my mind. If you feel it, you feel it. You’ve got nothing to lose. You can’t change that feeling. I wish I had let myself be happy for feeling love all those times because that is a wonderful feeling.” — Elizabeth, 74

Change your attitude to dating

“Stop wasting your time trying to look for that one ideal person you think was put on this Earth just for you. If you approach dating with this mindset, you’ll 100 per cent end up just hating dating even more. Someone’s height, occupation or education doesn’t really matter. What matters is that they’re a good person who will treat you with respect. It’s difficult to do but open yourself up and just be patient. That’s all you can do. The chances of the right people entering your life when you do this is actually quite high.” — Melinda, 64

You won’t always be alone

“The loneliest people are those that tell themselves they’re lonely. You’re responsible for your loneliness — or happiness. If you’re feeling lonely, do something about it. Go on dates and have fun. I’m telling you, you’re really only young once. Enjoy it while you can. The worst that can happen is that you end up with great dating stories you can carry with you for the rest of your life.” — Ester, 80

Everyone makes mistakes…

“Except cheating. If they cheat on you, leave them.” — Min, 70

On life

Honour your parents

“I remember all I wanted when I was in my early twenties was to move out of my parent’s home, party all the time and hang out with friends. I would only visit back home for big celebrations like birthdays and Christmas. But I’d do anything to spend another day – or even an hour – with my parents again. I would do anything to be able to pick up the phone and call my mum and dad one more time just to hear their voice — even if that conversation ended up with them telling me off about all the things I was doing incorrectly in life.” — Julie, 65

“Your parents will get on your nerves and stress you out about things but it’s truly because they love you and want the best for you. Even if what they tell you is utter nonsense, just nod your head and smile. It’s sad to think about it like this but you really don’t know how many more days someone has left so please, love your parents, listen to them and trust them. Love them and then love them even more.” — Bethany, 77

“My absolute biggest regret in life is taking everything my parents said to me for granted. Now I’m in their position, I know I have so much more wisdom and life experience that I only want to impart to my children and grandchildren because I want the best for them.” — Melinda, 64

You weren’t put on Earth just to work, eat, sleep and repeat

“You don’t work to sell every moment of your personal time. Put family first — in all situations. Travel more — it’s always possible at some point in your life, even if you have kids, a mortgage or some other reason that’s stopping you. Just book that trip. Do something every day that brings you happiness, otherwise, what’s the point?” — Beatrix, 68

Kindness trumps all

“You can be incredibly rich, highly skilled or even famous, but all of this doesn’t mean anything – or hold any value – if you’re not kind. If you’re a kind human, everything else will fall into place. You will be blessed with great things.” — John, 67

“Respect is a two-way street. Show people the same level of respect they show you.” — Christine, 81

Please put your phone down

“I’m hopeless with technology, but I grew up in a time when the world operated just fine without all this social media. Have a meal without the company of your phone, go for walks without your phone and go to bed without needing your phone right next to you. Think about all the extra time you’d have to spend face-to-face with family, friends and nature if you weren’t so glued to your screens.” — Alice, 72

“No one looks up at the sky, at the birds, at the trees. You’re going to end up with arthritis in your thumbs and a hunched back if you keep on looking at that phone. Socialise, talk to people, get out and about, enjoy nature, observe things, absorb moments, make memories and don’t be consumed by things you read in the media.” — Phil, 74

“There’s so much negativity in the world. Focus on the positive. Sometimes we don’t need to know all the bad things. We’re always reading and listening to all the horrible news going on in the world and it’s probably why we’re all so unhappy these days.” — John, 67

Stop worrying about settling down

“I wish I didn’t marry so young. It’s better now that it’s OK to get married in your thirties and beyond but for me, it was my priority as soon as I graduated from high school. I love my husband but I wish I had cherished my single life and used that time as an opportunity to figure out who I was and what I truly wanted. I wish I used that time to make more friends and travel the world just by myself — zero commitments.” — Liz, 66

Don’t rush through life

“Time is precious. Stop looking ahead at the future and just enjoy the moment you’re in. The point in life you’re at right now. We’re always trying to work towards goals and milestones, never taking in the present time and all the glorious things that are happening right there and then. It’s only when you’re older when you look back at all the times you took for granted because you were so focused on the future. Don’t rush through life just so you can tick it off your to-do list. Life isn’t all about achieving goals. I think it’s glorified a bit too much.” — Young, 80

“Everyone’s in such a hurry. Hurry here, hurry there. You go here, you go there. But just calm down and proceed sensibly. You don’t know what will happen tomorrow. Live life today.” — Min, 70

It’s OK to need more time for decision-making

“Before you make any decision, small or big, take your time. Tell people you need more time before committing to anything. That time taken will make a huge impact on whatever happens next.” — Sandra, 65

Thank your body every single day

“If you’re able to get out of bed on any given day, thank your body for being able to do that. Trust me, I wish I could go back to a time when my back wasn’t in so much pain every single day. Exercise, eat and sleep well, and just try to choose the healthier option when you can. Being able to move your body is underrated and the older your insides get, the more you’ll understand why.” — Julie, 65

Stop buying things

“Stop buying things unless you want to end up with so much clutter. Do you really need it? Can you survive tomorrow without it? You probably can so save your money. And buying something that’s on sale doesn’t mean you’re saving. You still spent money you didn’t need to spend.” — Catherine, 71

Throw away the timeline

“I know a lot of people these days put pressure on themselves to follow this life timeline they have in mind — get married by a certain age, buy property by a certain age, and do this and that by a certain age. I had one, too, but it was the silliest thing that only made me resent where I was in life throughout my twenties and thirties. Even though I had made a lot of progress in life, I couldn’t see it because I was blinded by this imaginary timeline. You can’t plan your life and you can’t go through life being so serious.” — Ruth, 72

On friendship

Know the value of a true friend

“Do you know how to tell if they’re your friend? It’s not about how you feel about them. It’s about how they make you feel about yourself.” — Young, 80

“As much as you need friends during the hardest times, you really know when someone is a true friend when they’re supporting you through all your happiest moments and not making it about themselves. If they’re cheering you on through the best of times and only helping your light shine brighter, that’s a true friendship you should hold onto.” — Eve, 72

We all progress at different times

“I loved being there for my friends but it was challenging having to attend their weddings, be there for them when they got job promotions and congratulate them on all their pregnancies. I went through life comparing myself to everyone’s progress and most of the time just felt like a massive failure. That was a lot of valuable time wasted on feeling so horrible. But your time will come! And yes, probably when you least expect it. Someone will always have more than you and that is a fact of life so there’s no need for this constant comparison. It’s not a competition.” — Beatrix, 68

Quality over quantity

“Having a hundred friends may be impressive to talk about but someone who has one true friend is the luckier one.” — Liz, 66

People come and go

“If someone leaves your life, they only left you because they stopped being able to use you. The people that really love you will be there no matter what. This goes for friends and partners – not everyone that enters your life is meant to be there forever. More often than not, goodbyes are blessings in disguise.” — Ester, 80