How To Pretend You're Not High

Earlier this week, Canberra's government legalised the possessing and growing of weed in the territory from January 2020. For those who wish to partake, this guide should help you navigate the moments in life when you need to come down from a high and return to your regular life.

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It can happen to the best of us. You're high, you're having the time of your life — and then you remember that dentist appointment you can’t cancel. Or your mum calls and reminds you that your uncle’s funeral is today. The temp agency texts you that you just got a lucrative gig and it starts in one hour. HOLLYWOOD calls, you’re going to be a STAR, but first you have to find your pants and get into the limo that’s idling just outside. What will you do?!

You’re going to fake being sober*, that’s what you’ll do, and we’re here to show you how. Pour yourself an iced coffee, and get ready to put those acting skills to the test. It’s all going to be ok.

*Note: Faking being sober does not equal being sober — so no driving for you, Tex.


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