You have problems, I have advice. This advice isn't sugar-coated - in fact, it's sugar-free, and may even be a little bitter. Welcome to Tough Love.
This week we have a woman who has let her partner live with her for three years full-time for free, and she's had enough.
Keep in mind, I'm not a therapist or any other kind of health professional - just a guy who's willing to tell it like it is. I simply want to give you the tools you need to enrich your damn lives. If for whatever reason you don't like my advice, feel free to file a formal complaint here. Now then, let's get on with it.
I have been dating a man for almost a decade. Neither one of us wants to get married. A few years ago, he gradually started moving in without discussing it. I mentioned that he needs to pay rent since he's living with me full-time. He baulked saying he's not using that much electricity, gas and so on.
It's been three years and still no rent. It's hurting our sexual relations because I resent him for it. He is a sex fanatic, however, and it's hurting our relationship. He does everything I ask of him and takes me everywhere, but he doesn't understand how the rent issue can affect me sexually. I'm ready to ask him to move out. What do you think?
Ready to Let Go
Hey Ready to Let Go,
I say pull the trigger and evict this cheap-arse. You're clearly just looking for someone to agree with the decision you've already made in your head. I mean, you signed off as "Ready to Let Go" for crying out loud. If you're so ready, just do it. Here is your "100 Per Cent Pure Unbiased Third-Party Opinion Certification".
He sneakily moved in without asking - not cool. He hasn't paid you any rent, even after you asked him to - also not cool. He's been there for three years and thinks he isn't using enough electricity, gas and other utilities to warrant any kind of payment - remarkably moronic. I'm not sure what's more ridiculous: The fact that he used such a flimsy argument, or that you just went along with it for so long. He's using you, ignoring your feelings, and being disrespectful, then constantly asking you for sex. No wonder you resent him! Who would want to get down with such a stingy little skinflint? I'm surprised he doesn't ask you to pay him each time you give in.
Ready to Let Go, who cares if he does what you ask and takes you places? A housekeeper and an Uber driver could fulfil those needs, and probably cost you less. You have a big horny rat living in your house, eating all your food, and crapping on your love. Call the exterminator before he gets you sick.
That's it for this week. I probably didn't make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, but sometimes what you need is some tough love. 'Til next time, figure things out for yourself.