If you don’t like bothering people with favours, there may be a part of you that’s afraid they will be annoyed with you. If that’s the case, go ahead and ask, because personal favours actually make you more likable.
Often our own actions about people determine our ideas about them, rather than the other way around. In other words, we don’t give our enemies a chance to become our friends, and asking for a favour can turn that around. There’s another way to look at this, though.
Asking for a favour also gives someone a chance to help you, and that makes people feel good about themselves and about you. For example, a 1969 study asked students to participate in a contest where they won money. After the contest, subjects were put in one of three scenarios:
- The researcher himself approached the students and asked for the money back, saying he used his own funds
- A secretary approached the students and asked for the money back on behalf of the psychology department
- Students weren’t approached at all
Subjects were then asked to rate the how much they liked the researcher, and those who were approached actually liked him more, even though he asked for a favour. Of course, the correlation-causation argument could be made here, but this isn’t a new theory.
Completing a favour makes people feel the same way they do when you ask them the right questions: important and useful. So if you’re afraid to ask, don’t be — chances are, it will make someone like you more.
On the other hand, there are people who go too far with this and take advantage of your kindness, and that’s just annoying. So there are definitely limits to this idea, but in general, if you’re the kind of person who’s afraid to speak up, this might help you get over that fear. Read more at the link below.