Resist The Urge To Deflect Compliments

Resist The Urge To Deflect Compliments

Many of us, myself included, brush aside compliments in a subconscious effort to be self-deprecating. Arguably, this behaviour actually does more harm than good.

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If someone said to me “hey, that’s a really cool Minecraft build”, my first instinct would be to reply: “eh, you should go watch some YouTube videos, this is nothing.” While my deflection might be factually accurate, and helps me avoid appearing smug, all I really did was contradict my conversational partner, and that’s often a bad idea. The Art Of Manliness explains:

When someone offers you a compliment, they’re saying that they’ve observed and assessed a praiseworthy quality in you. When you deflect or deny that praise, you’re basically contradicting them; you’re saying that they don’t have good judgment, discernment, or taste, or that they’re insincere — that they don’t know what they’re talking about. You’re returning their kind words with an insult.

No matter how uncomfortable a compliment makes you feel, swatting it back at the person who offered it is simply transferring your discomfort onto them. In most circumstances, it’s better just to absorb it with a gracious “thank you” and move on. It will make the complimenter feel good, and heck, you can even try to enjoy it yourself. For more advice on the subject, be sure to check out the source link.

How to Accept a Compliment With Class [The Art of Manliness]