The 7 Deadly Sins of Being a Decent Neighbour

According to a Harris poll commissioned for Ally Bank, 55% of those surveyed reported having had a “nightmare neighbour” in the past. I’m sure you don’t want to be thought of as one of those nightmares and end up vilified in a mortgage company’s poll, so here are seven things you should never do — unless you want to piss off the people who live next door.

Being too noisy

According to the aforementioned poll, the number one problem people have with their neighbours is noise, and if you’ve ever lived next to someone who won’t keep it down, you know exactly why. Keeping quiet can be difficult if you’re learning to play the tuba or something, but you should at least keep it to daylight hours. That includes your animals — there’s nothing worse than a neighbour with a yappy dog.

Not cleaning up your dog poop

Speaking of dogs, don’t be the guy who lets your dog poop on your neighbour’s lawn and doesn’t clean it up. It might seem like the perfect crime, but you never know when someone is secretly peering from their window to catch you in the act. They’ll eventually become suspicious of everyone in the neighbourhood with a dog, so do yourself (and everyone else) a favour: If you see dog poop while you’re walking your own dog, pick it up. That way you’re not just avoiding being a bad neighbour, you’re actively being a good one.

“Saving” a public parking spot

One of my neighbours painted lines marking “his” parking space on the street in front of his house. Obviously, he can’t really decide who parks where on a public street, but it somehow still works. I wish I could say that I make it point to park there as an act of defiance, but I try to park anywhere else. I respect his non-right to have a spot in front of his house! This sucks and you should not do it.

Being too nosy

We’ve all had that neighbour who makes it their business to keep track of everything happening on their street — the kind of person who just happens to walk out of their house exactly when you do so they can buttonhole you into a conversation you don’t want to have. They are the worst, because even if you can’t see them watching you while you take out the garbage, you still know they’re there. Right behind the curtain. Staring. Don’t be that person. Just leave other people alone.

Not keeping your house maintained

This one doesn’t bother me on a personal level; I don’t care whether my neighbours trim their hedges or whatever, and I probably wouldn’t notice until it gets to Hoarders level. But letting your house fall into visible disarray is one of the top reasons people report not liking their neighbours. Thirty-four per cent of people who have problems with their neighbours say it’s because they’re not keeping the place up. But then again, maybe those 34 per cent are actually the nosy people who everyone else hates. It’s complicated.

Politicizing your front lawn

If you must, fine, put up a sign touting a candidate when there’s an election coming up. But please stop there. People can go way overboard with the flags and slogans, and it’s never a good idea. Even if others agree with the political side you’re on, they’ll still find your need to proudly tell it to the world distasteful and confrontational. I’d rather not be reminded of political divisions every time pull into the driveway.

Having a noticeably “questionable lifestyle”

People don’t want to live next to the party house, or have a neighbour who obviously sells drugs, works in the sex trade, or rents their house out on Airbnb. It’s not that any of these professions are necessarily problematic in themselves, but they do tend to draw strangers to the neighbourhood. No one wants that, so deal your drugs from a street-corner on someone else’s block, and buy a short-term rental house far away.