Is it your first holiday season with your boo? One of the biggest stressors during your first Christmas together is deciding what to get for your first big gift exchange. Even if you’ve been together since January and it’s almost been a year, it can feel like an uneasy milestone. You don’t want to get something too over-the-top, but you also don’t want it to seem meaningless either.
Something they need at your house
If they’re starting to stay over a lot, you’re probably beginning to share things and beginning to adjust part-time living in each other’s space. If they’re always borrowing your deodorant or complaining that you don’t have any hot sauce, give them a collection of the things they want (or need) at your place. It’s an easy way to do something meaningful without it being a whole production. (I’m a big fan of pajamas that are specifically for wearing at the other person’s place.) It says that you’re excited to share space with them, but not going crazy on some outlandish gift. Plus, it makes both your lives easier.
A two-player game or activity you want to play together
Shan Boodram, a dating coach and intimacy expert with Bumble, suggests giving your partner a board game that you can play together. Yeah, it’s old school, but playing games together can open opportunities for you to have fun, get to know each other, and create little inside jokes. Plus, again, it’s meaningful without being weird. Plus-plus, you can get good enough together to crush your other friend couples at game nights.
Wine, if it’s still really early in the relationship
Wine and glasses are a great early-relationship gift — especially if you only recently started dating and you’re not even sure if you should do the whole gift-giving thing. It’s intentional, but not imbued with any great sentimentality that can get awkward. You can open it together and enjoy it by a fire and create a memory as part of the gift — but you won’t look cheap, since you did spend money.
A warming coaster and milk frother
The hardest part about a first-year gift is not wanting to get something sappy and romantic if you’re not totally sure they’re going to do the same. It’s a delicate balance. You might think to get a big, framed photo of the two of you, but you know that it’s too soon. Instead, get them something useful to bring to work. Boodram suggests a warming coaster or a milk frother. They can use these at work and think of you. It’s practical and romantic.
Book a class that you’re both interested in
Book a class or activity, like a paint-n-sip or a ceramics class, Boodram says. Ideally, it should be a class where you make something you can take home to remember the day, but the most important thing is that you take the class together and have fun. A shared experience is way better than a shiny necklace or huge gift.
A book on their favourite topic
Again, it’s a bad idea to go all-out on this gift for your first year — especially if you’re still in the early dating stages. You really don’t want to be too much if they don’t plan to reciprocate, Boodram pointed out. But you also want to show you care and pay attention to their interests. A book on a topic of their interest does it without being too aggressive. Go for the hardcover, and write a note inside.
Accessories for an activity you do together
Whether you both enjoy video games or canoeing when you’re together, there’s some kind of accessory that pairs well with your mutual hobby. Christina Phipps, a Midwestern woman now celebrating her second Christmas with her boyfriend, recalled how they exchanged outerwear last year since they enjoy hiking as a couple. He knew she needed boots. She knew he needed a jacket. That’s more romantic than a high-priced novelty by a long shot.
Something small that can grow into something bigger
I stole this idea from my parents, who fell in love at the age of 15 and never fell out of it. Early on, my dad got my mum a charm bracelet, and every year of their teens and early 20s, he added a new Christmas charm to it. If you’re going to do jewellery, it’s better to go for something small and meaningful than big and flashy. This idea is expandable, too: If not a bracelet, try a scrapbook or creating an ornament collection. The goal is to add to the gift every year that you’re together, ideally creating a huge memento of all your holiday seasons.
Absolutely nothing, if it’s too soon
It’s fine not to exchange gifts your first year, especially if the relationship is too new. One New York-based man in his late 20s who is in a new relationship told Lifehacker that he isn’t trading gifts with his boyfriend at all, but they discussed it and agreed it would just be weird after a month of exclusivity. It shouldn’t feel forced. Just because the holidays happened to roll around right after you cuffed doesn’t mean you have to force a big gesture. Maybe go out for a nice date instead. Just keep a small gift on deck in case they break your deal and try to give you something anyway.
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