In our image-obsessed society, I understand the temptation to at least try some of the weird beauty hacks I hear about, whether those “tips” come from self-proclaimed beauty gurus on Instagram, glossy magazines, or your mum’s friend Diane who swears it works. I’ve wasted an embarrassing amount of money accidentally clogging my pores with coconut oil. But after perusing Reddit, it looks like I’ve been spared in terms of beauty hacks that truly yield not-so-beautiful results.
I compiled the best of the worst beauty hacks, according to these Reddit users (who are all beautiful on the inside, I’m sure). Although this should go without saying, please let me be clear: We endorse none of these hacks in any way. Quite the opposite, actually.
Beauty fades; hopefully, so too will the effects of a DIY turmeric face mask.
Ah, gravity. The enemy of so many beauty goals. To be fair, though, this user said this was the look they were going for.
Baby oil instead of shaving cream
Baby oil does work as a substitute for shaving cream, but just a few drops will go a long way. Unless your goal with shaving is to assume your final form as a slick, slippery dolphin, use baby oil with caution.
Literal smokey eyes
Anyone who tried to achieve the perfect smokey eye in the mid-2000s probably stumbled across this tip. The idea is that holding a lighter under your eye makeup will soften it for a smoother application. And there are still plenty of advocates of this technique! It’s just that there are plenty of singed victims, too.
Minty fresh acne
I can personally attest to wasting good toothpaste on this hack all throughout my teens. All my friends did, too. Why did we all know this “trick?” Did it ever work for anyone? Or did we all just have the same pimples, now with a minty fresh coating?
It’s supposed to smell like burning toast in here, right?
I have newfound respect for my mum as I think about how she never caved and got me the iconic “Wet2Straight” flat iron. Most sources agree that using a hot straightener/curler on wet or even damp hair can fry your strands and cause irreversible damage. You might want to go a step further and use a heat protectant before using any flat iron, lest you end up like this icon.
Hairspray on the face
To be fair, hacks for using hairspray are plentiful, and this tip is widespread in the online beauty community. The idea is that if you don’t have official “setting spray” to lock your makeup in place, then hairspray will do the trick. However, it turns out hairspray has a ton of chemicals that are not great for your skin (or the environment).
Remember when everyone was obsessed with eyebrows? As a ginger, that was a hard time for me. The solidarity of the Reddit beauty community is on full display here, as a second user swoops in with an even worse eyebrow horror story.
Scrambled egg hair
I actually don’t see any issue with this one. Who doesn’t love scrambled eggs?
It’s not a phase, mum
Look, when you’re committed to the goth lifestyle, you make do with what you have. Plus, this was a certified hack according to Taylor Swift lore. Still, as a general rule, it is not safe to use a Sharpie (or any other writing utensil) along your eyes.
“Snape levels of greasiness”
I could probably take the bright orange colour and “Snape levels of greasiness,” but the mayo smells would have done me in.
“Mm, portable salad bar”
DIY turmeric face mask
There seems to be a recurring theme with any food-based beauty hack, huh? Turmeric is notorious for its ability to colour a whole meal; one time I spilled some on my shirt, which is now called, predictably, my “turmeric shirt.” I’ve seen a number of users post about accidentally staining their faces with turmeric, but little explanation for what the goal was in the first place.
My major issue with this tale: Why would a gymnast want to soften their badass callouses? This user admits they might have made a slight error in selecting blue, shimmery lotion.
More uses for toothpaste
Toothpaste and eyelashes go together like toothpaste and orange juice.
Hey, at least if this one doesn’t work out, you have a comfort snack ready and waiting for you.