How To Parent Like A Starfleet Officer

Photo: Paramount Television

Sometimes, when your toddler is throwing a fit because they asked for a banana and then you give them a banana, and the thought might cross your mind: Who or what is this irrational being sitting before me? It’s like I’m dealing with an alien life form that can’t adapt to its new environment. That is when it’s time to channel your inner Starfleet officer.

Sure, you could try some good old-fashioned patience. That’s always a solid choice. But on the days when the patience well has run dry, you have another option. Leeman Kessler, who I can only assume is a TNG fan, explains on Facebook:

Our infants, toddlers, little kids, tweens and teens? They’re all alien ambassadors from another solar system who, while quite intelligent, are simply not used to the strange ways of our planet.

It is your job, as a Starfleet representative, to keep them safe as they acclimate to Earth. It’s even better if, as they begin to learn our ways, you can give them special roles to help build their confidence and encourage their progress. Such as Executive Officer in Charge of Radishes:

As Captain Picard once said, “The first duty of every Starfleet officer is to the truth, whether it’s scientific truth or historical truth or personal truth. It is the guiding principle on which Starfleet is based.”

It is your job to impart those truths to our little alien ambassadors. Make it so.


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