Sharing your finances is a tough topic in itself, but thankfully we’re talking metaphorically today. If you want to maintain a healthy relationship, view it as a bank account that needs regular deposits of positivity to thrive.
Photo by JD Hancock.
Couples fight more about money than anything else. You and your partner could be totally compatible in every way, but sparks can still fly when it comes to money. Getting on the same page financially can be tough. To make things easier, talk about a few important topics when the relationship starts to get serious.Read more
As advice site the Art of Manliness points out, while the comparison may sound transactional and uncomfortable, the idea of relationships as a bank account hits home for one very important reason: Both need regular deposits to maintain. If you’ve ever lived paycheck to paycheck, you know the relief that comes from getting a payday, and how stressful it can be to have to pay out when your account’s empty. Your relationship works in a very similar way. You need positive input to get a positive return:
If you follow Gottman’s research-backed philosophy, such issues are not a problem; in fact, he would say that friction is a natural part of the ying and yang of life in general, and of relationships specifically, and that some negativity in a marriage is actually healthy.
As long as it’s balanced by positive aspects.
Gottman has actually formulated a precise ratio for where this balance needs to reside for a marriage to maintain its stability and happiness: 5:1. A couple that has at least five times more positive interactions than negative ones will ultimately succeed.
Fortunately, you don’t have to negotiate with a boss or go to university to create positive interactions. Simply take some time to do something courteous for your partner and show them you care. Don’t just wait for you to feel in a lovey mood to invest in your relationship. You wouldn’t want your company to wait until they feel like paying you. You need regular paychecks, just like you and your romantic partner need regular reminders of your love and appreciation for each other.