Getting into an argument with a significant is always tough. If you don’t pay attention, it’s easy for the whole thing to escalate and spiral out of control. To keep that from happening, The Wall Street Journal spoke with Dr Hal Shorey to provide a five step guide.
Photo by Brad Fults
The idea here is to get to a point where you and your partner can rationally discuss the situation, talk about it openly, and come up with a system to resolve it. Here are the five steps:
- Wait to talk until you both are no longer upset.
- Give up the idea of being right. Don’t focus on details. Focus on how you feel.
- Verbalize your understanding of how the other person feels.
- Quash any impulse to defend yourself.
- Accept that it will take a while to feel better. Set a time to check in and monitor progress.
It’s not easy, and as we’ve pointed out before, it takes a lot of work to get to the point where you’re making progress and having productive arguments. Still, the five step guide above should at least keep things civil.
The Best Way to Make Up After Any Argument [The Wall Street Journal]