There's an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond where Ray remembers an effective parenting method he learned from his dad: AIS. Arse In Seat. He'd say, "We're leaving. 9 o'clock, AIS!" and whoever's arse was not in their seat at the designated time would be left behind. The kicker? Ray tries it on Debra, his wife. Moral: Don't try it on your wife. (Also, yeah, I used to watch a lot of Everybody Loves Raymond - don't hate.)
You have problems, I have advice. This advice isn't sugar-coated - in fact, it's sugar-free, and may even be a little bitter. Welcome to Tough Love.
As a disciplinary strategy, spanking is definitely out: It not only doesn't work, but it's associated with the same negative outcomes, to a lesser degree, as those that result from child abuse.
Sleep habits. Fertility. Steps per day. Water consumption. There's a tracker for that -- all of that. So it probably shouldn't have surprised me to read Dr Catherine Pearlman's advice for struggling parents, and yet it kind of blew my mind. When you're trying to change your child's behaviour and you're not sure if what you're doing is working, she suggests collecting some data and analysing it.
When my four-year-old misbehaves (and boy, does she), I have about 3.7 seconds to run through a litany of possible parental responses in my brain, and choose one.
If you're debating whether to read the letter your time-travelling friend wrote you, "What the hell?" is an okay justification. However, if you're about to utterly ruin your diet all week because you had a tiny slice of cake on Monday, maybe don't give in so easily.
Many parents dole out punishment when their children do something bad, but Alan Kazdin, director of the Yale Parenting Center, says that even gentle punishments like time outs don't work.
Developing discipline is all about doing the little things right. Small wins can set the tone of your day, including the very first moment when your alarm clock goes off.
Many parents are moving towards “gentle parenting”, where they choose not to use rewards (sticker charts, lollies, chocolates, TV time as “bribes”) and punishments (taking away “privileges”, time-out, smacking) to encourage good behaviour, but encourage good behaviour for the sake of doing the right thing.
Gentle parents argue that to offer rewards and punishments overrides a child’s natural inclination towards appropriate behaviour by teaching them to behave in certain ways purely to receive a reward, or to avoid punishment.
Have you noticed how kids behave differently at school than at home? As an early education teacher, one of the most common questions I get from parents how I get the children to behave. Here are the discipline techniques I've learned that work at both school and home.
