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How to Feel Your Feelings (and Why You Should)
Feeling our feelings — contrary to long-held popular opinion that it is somehow weak — is remarkably hard work. Which is why we engage in frequent avoidance techniques so we don’t have to feel them: drinking, binge-eating, gambling, and staying excessively busy, to name a few. But as it turns out, learning how to feel…
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How to Tell a Friend They Hurt You Even If You’re Emotionally Constipated
When one friend hurts another, it can be hard to have an honest conversation about it. But some friendships are even less touchy-feely or emotional than “normal” — there are friends who don’t hug, for example, and that’s ok — making it especially hard to talk about feelings. Even if your friendship isn’t based on…
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Why We Shout During an Argument (and Why It’s Not Effective)
When we get into arguments with people, such as your on-the-other-side-of-the-political-spectrum uncle, the disrespectful neighbour, or even your messy roommate, it can be all too easy to devolve into a shouting match. However, according to Vanessa Bohns, a professor of organizational behaviour at Cornell University, shouting during an argument not only undermines the effectiveness of…
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How to Use Kindness to Deal With Difficult, Negative People
Having any sort of interaction with a negative or downright mean person is unpleasant on so many levels. Unfortunately, they are everywhere and basically unavoidable. You know the type: Rude and inconsiderate right off the bat, as if they think that it’s perfectly acceptable to treat other people like crap, but also expect everyone else…