Life throws a lot of unpleasant experiences our way – such as deaths in the family, nasty breakups, or agonising injuries – but a good friend can always help us pull through. This trick will remind you to be a good friend long after the initial shock of a traumatic event has faded away.
Anniversaries can be both good and bad. Some are joyful milestones, while others are reminders of our unfortunate past that creep their way into our thoughts. But it’s easy to forget what hasn’t happened to us. For example, the anniversary of a friend’s family member passing may not be something in the forefront of your mind, but it’s probably something they can’t help but think about during that time of year.
That’s why peachallen at Reddit suggests you make an annually repeating event on your calendar as soon as something traumatic happens to someone you care about. Come that time next year, you’ll have a nice reminder to check in with them and see how they’re holding up. Others will surely have forgotten and stop checking in after a few months, but now you can be there when they need someone the most and may be too afraid to bring it up.
Of course, this still has to be done tactfully. Don’t say something like “OMG so-and-so died exactly a year ago!” In this case, a simple, sombre “How have you been lately?” will do, or maybe an, “I know this time of year can be tough for you. How are you holding up?” Extend the opportunity for them to talk about it, but don’t force it. Let them know you’re there for them if they need it.