Divorces are never easy, even if they’re quick and amiable, and if you have kids you want to do whatever you can to make the whole situation as easy as possible on them. Here are three ways to lessen the impact of a divorce on your kids.
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All of these tips come down to reducing your and your kids' stress both during and after the divorce, and trying to smooth over the process as a change -- but not necessarily a traumatic event -- in everyone's lives.
- Minimise conflict between you and your ex. Start with forgiving yourself and your ex, as least on some level. This isn't simple to do, and can be near-impossible depending on your situation, but it will make reducing conflict around your children much easier. The goal is to have your kids be able to see both parents as much as possible and as pleasantly as possible, without arguments or negative comments every time they do.
- Reduce the transitions your kids has to go through. Divorce brings enough change that any additional transitions or changes you avoid, the less stress your kids go through. Changing schools, moving homes, change in quality of life due to change in household income and eventually new partners for their parents -- they're all traumatic, and some may be necessary, but try to minimise them. Some changes are unavoidable, but being mindful of when transitions need to happen, or not, and what you can do to make them easier will help your kids adapt to life post-divorce.
- Take care of yourself so you can be there for your kids. Self-care is important, especially during a difficult time like divorce. Minimising your own stress helps you be a better parent and be able to focus on what your kids need to feel safe and loved as so much is changing.
Whether your kids are toddlers or teenagers, focusing on the areas above will make your divorce easier for them to handle, and you can work on these areas regardless of how long you've been divorced.
The "Good" Divorce [Greater Good in Action]