Why The Most Effective Revenge Is A "Douchebag’s Mirror"

Why The Most Effective Revenge Is A "Douchebag’s Mirror"

There are many ways to seek revenge, but the most effective is the kind that results in your “victim” not only learning to never do what they did again, but why they shouldn’t do it. That’s why the best revenge is a mirror – so your target can see exactly how and why they’re being an enormous douche.

When you’re plotting revenge (or doing anything, really), you should have a point. Generally that point is best made by demonstrating to the offender why what they did was wrong and what to expect from you should they do it again. For example, if someone’s dog takes a dump on your lawn and they don’t clean it up, you can put it in an envelope with a nice note that reads “I noticed you left this on my property and just wanted to do the neighborly thing and return it.” Just make sure it fits nicely in the mailbox.

If a friend or family member is always late, even when it really matters, wait until they invite you to something important and then show up long after you were supposed to. When someone’s talking loudly on the phone in a movie theatre, go sit next to them (or stand if you can’t) and start talking into their ear.

Obviously these things mean 1) you’re asking for trouble, and 2) you’re going to hurt some feelings (or at least piss some people off). Nonetheless, sometimes you need a little tough love to get the point across. If you have a problematic situation, sometimes the most effective way to approach it is to shine a mirror in the face of the offender. Sometimes it isn’t, but it’s a good concept to have in your bag of tricks for when the right circumstance presents itself.

Have you ever used a “douchebag mirror” strategy to get revenge? Share your story in the comments.


  • All sounds well and good unless, as is usually the case, the douche is a big mother with an attitude. You know! the type that generally evolve to douche from school yard bully. #]

  • The best loud-talking on public transport burn I ever saw was when a girl was yelling into her phone she gave out her alternate mobile number. After the call finished someone nearby called her phone and yelled into his phone that maybe she shouldn’t have been quite so public with that information. She was horrified. It was hilarious.

  • Guy behind me in cinema reading a text message to friends. I ignore it at first. Then he gets louder and starts asking his friends what he should reply with. I turn around and tell him to shut the f* up. He replies with. “I beg your pardon, I didn’t quite hear what you said?” in an honest and surprised voice. I repeat my previous statement and the boy gets all frightened and is barely able to say sorry. Yea I felt like a massive ass hat after that one

  • Man, how do you avoid behaving like a douche yourself to the other people who will witness your “reprimand”? :/ Most of the cited samples, at least where I live, will lead to a fight. And the police. I hear what the article is saying, but in most cases it can lead to you getting hurt. Just be careful….

  • Wow what terrible advice.

    I was in an unknown (to me) part of Buffalo NY and ssssh’ed a guy in a movie without looking who I was ssssh’ing.

    Turns out we were the only ones in there and I almost got, quite literally, completed cold stone murdered.

    All well and good when dealing with friends and family but just stupid with a stranger, I certainly learned a lesson that day.

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