Attention: I Have Revolutionised Cheese Fries

Attention: I Have Revolutionised Cheese Fries

People like to say that weed makes you stupider, and I’m sure it doesn’t help if you’re studying differential equations or polymer chemistry (both of which I opted out of in college), but I’ve never found it hindered me in my line of work. If I’m so stupid, how did I invent a new kind of cheese fry?

Truth be told, I’ve been wrapping things in fried cheese blankets — aka “frico blankets” — for quite some time now. It started with eggs, both fried and omelette’d, then progressed to pickles, and — in one instance — a chicken apple sausage (that I did not get a pic of because it was ugly).

Then, last night, after ingesting a new-to-me edible, I decided I wanted fries, so I put a few handfuls of frozen fries in the air fryer. While those were sizzling away, I decided I wanted cheese fries, but did not feel like making a cheese sauce, or getting cheese all over my air fryer, or transferring the fries to the oven to melt some cheese under the broiler.

Then I remembered the frico pickle.

I placed a couple of slices of American cheese in a nonstick pan, let them fry until they got all lacy and browned on the bottom, then set a small handful of fries in the centre of the cheese crisp and folded it around them. I set the thing on a plate for a few minutes to let the cheese firm up a bit, then ate it like a little burrito. I was pleased.

This afternoon, I did it all over again, only this time I put bacon bits in the cheese, then finished the whole thing off with a dollop of Daisy and sprinkle of scallions. Again, I was pleased.

Photo: Claire Lower
Photo: Claire Lower

There is no real “recipe” here. All you have to do is add cheese to a pan and let it grease out for a bit. I’ve used both American deli slices and pre-shredded cheddar, but almost any cheese that melts will work, provided you cook it long enough. (Low-moisture cheeses will work better and faster, however.)

Let the cheese fry in its own grease until it’s golden brown all around the edges, with very few melted-looking spots. (See the pickle post for a good visual.) You want lots of little holes, indicating most of the water has evaporated, allowing the cheese to crisp up once it’s removed from the pan.

Add a tablespoon or so of bacon bits to the cheese while it’s melting, then add the fries once it becomes golden and lacy. Use a silicone spatula to fold the cheese around the fries, transfer to a plate to let it set for at lest 30 seconds, then garnish with sour cream and scallions if you are so inclined. Pick it up and eat it like a burrito, making sure to ignore any and all haters.

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