The Out-of-Touch Adults’ Guide to Kid Culture: What Did Ezra Miller Do?

Young people catch a lot of flack for believing in weird stuff like mystical folk-magic practices and zombie invasions, but then, some very powerful adults also believed putting $US200 ($278) million into a movie starring Ezra Miller was a good idea, so no one is without sin.

The many (alleged) crimes of Ezra Miller

If you’re too busy living your life — working, cleaning things, etc. — to know who Ezra Miller is, let me fill you in. The 29 year-old actor is known for portraying entering the speed force while playing the Flash in the DC Expanded Universe, and also for being accused of crimes. Like a ton of crimes. Here’s a partial list of crimes associated with Miller:

• Drug possession
• Disorderly conduct
• Harassment of patrons at karaoke bar
• Assault
• Felony burglary

And those are the official charges. The more dramatic accusations involve sexual harassment, leading a cult, grooming, acting inappropriately around children, and much more. (If you’re curious, here are all the sordid details) All of this is relevant mostly because Warner Bros. is planning to release a feature film starring Miller as the the Flash in 2023. The Flash’s budget is said to be around $US200 ($278) million, so there’s a lot riding on this loose-cannon actor. Stay tuned.

News flash: Teenagers hate Facebook

Maybe it’s privacy concerns, the monetisation of political disinformation, or Zuckerberg’s stupid face, but teenagers do not like Facebook at all. According to a Pew Research Centre survey of teens aged 13 through 17, Facebook is less popular than YouTube, TikTok, Instagram (which, admittedly, Facebook parent Meta owns), and Snapchat. Only 32% of teens surveyed say they use Facebook, down from 71 per cent in 2015. On the bright side for Facebook, it’s more popular with teens than Twitter, WhatsApp, Reddit, Tumblr, and being told to do the dishes. Unlike Facebook, YouTube is extremely popular with kids: 95% of them report using it. TikTok comes in a close second with 67%.

Is TikTok’s Honey Method mystically cursing people? (No.)

I’m not sure why, but I’m fascinated with TikTok mysticism. This week, WitchTok is all about “The Honey Method.” It works like this: You get some honey. You think about the person you like. You draw a cross on your tongue with the honey. This will make the object of your desire obsessed with you, and make you speak sweetly of them. (I mean, it won’t, but that what proponents of the practice say.) Effective or not, it does have a certain magical-realism style that I can appreciate. According to some TikTokers, though, this is a traditional Hispanic magical practice (I have no idea if this is so, but that’s what they say), so it comes with a warning about cultural appropriation. If you are not Hispanic, and you do the honey spell, bad things could happen to you. So be warned, and stick to the folk magical traditions of your own culture to be safe.

Are there zombies in China? (No.)

Almost 7 million videos have been viewed on TikTok under the hashtag ZombiesInChina. Lots of the videos are making fun of the idea, but some TikTok users seem to legitimately believe that a zombie uprising is happening right now in China.

To remove all doubt, there is no zombie outbreak in China. There’s nothing to worry about because, according to this video, there was only one zombie, “but it was very weak, and harmed no one. They killed it minutes after it was created.” Thank goodness. Yeah, it’s silly, but people can be forgiven for giving the idea a little value given how insane actual events have been for the past five years or so, and also because of this.

Viral video of the week: “My regrets from high school theatre” ft. @Caleb Hyles

I can’t sing, dance, or act, but I still was in all my high school’s musicals — I just liked the vibe. Now that I’m sort of an adult, I still like the vibe — all of my favourite people in the world were theatre geeks in high school. This week’s viral video, “My regrets from high school theatre,” offers reassuring evidence that this subspecies of teenager is still alive, still nerdy-sincere in that very specific theatre-geek way, and still rocking school plays in the post-everything age. It’s reassuring. Also, telling personal, casual stories through homemade animation is a very internet genre, and illymation really nails it here.