Millennials have been accused of killing so many aspects of daily life. While I agree with eradicating some of these obsolete items (take that, napkins and network television!), there is one victim here that needs to be pardoned from death row.
I am talking about humble bar soap. It’s gone out of style, replaced mostly by shiny, sexy, alluring body wash. But I call hogwash on body wash. It’s essentially pureed, watered-down bar soap that costs four times as much.
Just take a look at the ingredients. Exhibit A: Dove Body Wash. The first ingredient is water. Let’s compare that to exhibit B: Dove Beauty Bar. What’s that there as the very first ingredient? Why it’s, Sodium Lauroyl Isethionate … commonly called soap! Now let’s compare prices. On Amazon, the water/soybean oil smoothie marketed as hygiene costs $6 per bottle, while the trusty beauty bars are $1.50 each.
Plus, each bar lasts at least twice as long as a bottle of body wash. With the bottle, you squeeze out as much as you want each time (which is often too much). The bar is designed to give you only as much soap as you need to get clean.
Now, if you think that bars of soap are not as luxurious and moisturizing, now is the perfect time to splurge on something fancier. (Expensive bar soap will still costs way less than bargain body wash.) What I like to do is buy two packs of different soaps, and alternate them every time I need a new bar. That keeps the scents (and me) feeling fresh every few weeks. If you really need to feel something soft caressing your delicate skin, then invest in some washcloths — just be sure to get enough to use a new one every day.
And let’s not forget the real injustice in using body wash: the badly designed cap on the Dove bottles that prevents you from standing it upside-down to get the last bits. Someone call the Unilever family, because now they’re just messing with us.
This will not stand, and I will not stand for it.
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