Regular Potatoes Are Dead, Long Live Sweet Potatoes

I was making a pot of soup. My grandmother’s recipe. A basic lentil and vegetable soup. The recipe called for potatoes. I had no potatoes. Damn.

I dig around my pantry. Looky looky what we have here. Sweet potato. Sure, why not. That’s a viable replacement. Let’s see what happens, shall we?

What happened: probably the best pot of soup I’ve ever made.

That was the moment I realised that regular ol’ potatoes ever again could go in the trash forever.

Friends, I am here to make a powerful argument. It’s an argument you might disagree with. I am here to tell that regular potatoes are waste of goddamn time. I am here to tell you that regular potatoes are boring and bland and tasteless and what’s even the point of regular potatoes when sweet potatoes exist.

Sweet potatoes. They’re like regular potatoes, only sweet. They’re like regular potatoes only better in every single conceivable way. This is not opinion it’s hard fact.

I’m not going to get into the health debate here. The sweet potato has long been granted ‘superfood’ status, but nutritionists are in the process of debunking that. The common argument: sweet potatoes have a lower Glycemic Index (GI) than normal potatoes, meaning they are digested more slowly and cause less of an insulin spike – all good things if you’re trying to control your appetite and lose weight.

But it’s not as cut and dried as all that. GI is a complex beast and, in this particular case, it’s all dependent on the type of potato, how the potatoes are prepared and – insanely – the kind of food you’re eating alongside the potatoes.

In short: the health argument for sweet potatoes over regular potatoes probably exists but I’m not going to make it.

Good thing there are a hundred other reasons why sweet potatoes crap on regular potatoes from the highest possible height.

Reasons like…

They Taste Better

I have no earthly idea why a person would cook and eat a regular potato. They are bland. They have very little taste and need to be eaten alongside something else. They are a complimentary food. Meat and potatoes. Fish and chips. They are the thing you eat because they come with the thing you want to eat.

“Hey want a chip?”

You say this. You offer them to your friends. You offer them to your friends because deep down you don’t want to eat them. Eating them is a social norm. A habit you’ve become accustomed to.

Sweet potato is different. Goddamn it if sweet potatoes are exactly what they say on the tin: they’re sweet. Not sickly sweet like pumpkin, sweet in a subtle way. Sweet in a way that isn’t overpowering. Eating regular potatoes is a chore, eating sweet potato is a pleasant surprise.

They’re Easier To Prepare

Regardless of where you fall on ‘potato-gate’, we can all agree that peeling potatoes sucks. This is just another reason why sweet potatoes are superior to regular potatoes – they’re easier to peel.

Think about it: sweet potatoes are massive. Regular potatoes are small. When you peel a sweet potato you’re getting way more potato for your peel. Think about it in surface layer terms: regular potatoes are just way more work. This isn’t just a numbers game, they’re also way harder to peel because of the size issue. Way more fernickety. I’ve never cut my fingers peeling gargantuan sweet potatoes, but with regular potatoes it’s like I’ve gone 12 rounds with fucking Wolverine.

This is important.

Sweet Potatoes Make Better Snacks

Of all my completely watertight arguments about the superiority of sweet potatoes, this is the one I’ll most willingly accept is a matter of taste.

Personally I think sweet potato fries taste better than regular fries – although both are a waste of calories.

Personally I much prefer sweet potato chips to regular chips. Red Rock Deli’s sweet potato range is just PERFECTION. They are the perfect goddamn chip.

The end.

Bugger It I Lied, Let’s Talk About Health

They’re probably more healthy. Just a little bit. Like it’s close, don’t get me wrong, but they are a tiny bit more healthy than regular potatoes, alright?

Don’t quote me on that even though I just wrote it, okay?

Point being, there is no real reason for you to be eating normal potatoes because sweet potatoes are here and they’re better on every possible, measurable level. This is science. This is reason. This is evolution. Survival of the fittest. I’m sorry regular potatoes, you had your time in the sun, but we have to move on, To fresher climes, to flavour country. Population: sweet potato.

I’m here. The weather is great. Everyone’s having a good ol’ time.

Join me.

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