What’s The Most Evil Thing You’ve Ever Done?

What’s The Most Evil Thing You’ve Ever Done?

It’s Evil Week here at Lifehacker, and we’re sharing plenty of techniques for bringing a little evil into your life. But there’s one question we’re really curious about. What’s the most evil thing you’ve ever done?

Photo by texelart

Here’s your chance to show off your dark side. We won’t judge (much).

This post is part of our Evil Week series at Lifehacker, where we look at the dark side of getting things done. Knowing evil means knowing how to beat it, so you can use your sinister powers for good. Want more? Check out our evil week tag page.


  • “one” of the most evil things I’ve ever done was to write a screen saver which I rolled out to the whole company. The screen saver simply said “It is now safe to turn off your computer”. Caused a few issues during the course of the day.

  • During kids’ bedtime, I sometimes make up stories starring a cast of recurring characters that my children have become quite fond of. One night, I decided to kill one off (the characters, not the kids). Both of them cried.

    • I cannot decide if this is evil or genius parenting. Either way – your kids will be better prepared when their first pet dies. +1

  • Someone once tortured me for many years essentially destroying my entire social life. I also knew this person lived alone and she ordered cristco every year. I stole the delivery and defrosted all the meat so it went bad. I then refroze the delivery and placed it at her home.

  • School yard psychological bullying. Being smaller I had to be quick witted but I turned to the dark side and became what I hated most. It’s a regret that keeps my moral compass steady in my older age. Also, I strung my little sister up in a noose. It was from a place of curiosity, think Rod and Todd. Not knowing about consequences as a six year old. She dangled for a few seconds before my dad swept in and gave me the hiding of my life. I still didn’t realise the danger until a few years later. I’m best of friends with my sister though, never tried to kill her again.

  • In primary school, I was a little hellraiser. Mostly because of the people I associated with (who I still associate with), and sort of because I was bored at school because “they weren’t teaching what I wanted to learn” (gifted child boredom).

    We’d break toilets, put faeces on bubble taps, steal stuff from classrooms and stop down the back of the oval for a smoke.

    But the worst thing, which wasn’t done by myself, but by my friends, was during a cooking class. They were cooking quiches for the teachers (as a thank-you for something), so two of my friends urinated in an eggshell and put it in the quiches. The teachers ate them and declared them delicious.

    • That’s not gifted child boredom, that’s bratty kid misbehaviour. Gifted children don’t put shit on drinking fountains when they get bored. They do things which fulfill their intellectual needs, such as reading Das Kapital while you’re teaching “The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe”.

  • Not the most evil thing I’ve done by far, but the only one I’m willing to admit to.

    Some years ago, one of my former bosses, who apart from being a living breathing human turd, would crack onto anything with a skirt, including trying it on with my missus at the Xmas party.
    Numerous complaints against him, and we had some good staff leave because of him, but nothing was ever done internally, because he was good mates with the CEO.

    Anyway, he was due to fly out on his annual sex trip to Thailand, and left his passport on his desk whilst at lunch.
    Sensing opportunity, I went and bought a UV security marker, and then wrote on the photo page Narcotics Trafficker. Placed passport back on desk, resumed work.

    He never revealed if he had any trouble at the Immigration checkpoints, but I heard the year after, he switched to Bali instead of his perennial favourite of Thailand.

    I wonder how that worked out for him.

    • Nice one, very subtle. Certainly better than shredding it, which is what I was anticipating. Although he may still have gotten his jollies at immigration, if you know what I mean lol

  • the evilest thing I did was.
    I was driving it had been raining. on the sidewalk were people walking under cover. there is a lane right next to their walkway. and water had pooled there. My friend and I looked at eachother. smiled at me, I turned the wheel as he was saying do it do it. and Yes I did it! haha water flew up out of the wheel well onto them all. this was about 12.30 pm people were on lunch break.
    haha seemed like a fun thing 🙂

  • In the late 90’s I would sell Credit Card generated numbers to my friends at school on disk for $30 a pop. I would roll the CC numbers into an EXE file that would deploy cDc Back Orifice on their PC’s. I had control of about 30 computers. Until everyone started getting Norton.

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