Good afternoon, here's a story about my butthole. Years ago, it was itching constantly, and I couldn't figure out why. I assumed it was dirty, so when I went to the bathroom, I always made sure to wipe extra hard. Finally a doctor had to tell me to stop that, and give my butthole a break. I did, and I stopped itching.

I tell you this humiliating story for a good reason: According to Mental Floss, a lot of you are wiping too hard as well.