We like to say that people should "find their passion" to experience success in their careers and therefore, in their lives. If you really love something, it will feel easy and right. Right? That may actually be the worst possible way to approach new ventures.
Tagged With goals
I'm very good at wanting to buy things. I want to buy a new sound system, for example. This would mean ripping five speakers out of my walls, patching up the holes, and buying a $900 soundbar. My wife points out that the current system works well, and asked me why I want to replace it. And I had to admit why: I have to control the sound system with a second remote, which I hate. My wife pointed out that solving this is not worth $900 and a weekend project. So instead I'm buying a $60 universal remote. This is a better way to reach my real goal, which is feeling in control of my gadgets.
Actors have a saying: You don't get 100 per cent of the parts you don't audition for. If you're an artistic type, or a writerly type, or even just someone who's looking for a job, you may have found rejections to be so painful that you've just stopped applying for things. Social media and streaming TV is so soothing - why would you put yourself out there for stuff you aren't going to get anyway?
Do you feel as though your social life is out of control? Maybe you (or your kids) have events every evening, when all you want to do is spend a quiet night at home. Maybe you feel like you're spending too much time "touching base" and "picking brains" with people you aren't close to, and not enough time with your friends. Maybe your in-laws want you to spend every Sunday having dinner with them, and you... don't.
Buddying up can help you reach your fitness resolutions - or whatever goal you happen to be chasing. But you don't have to work out together to help each other (couples, breathe a sigh of relief).
Just as important as setting New Year's resolutions is figuring out how we reach them, and not getting so bogged down in work that we forget to take care of ourselves. On the podcast Call Your Girlfriend, hosted by the journalist Ann Friedman and Aminatou Sow, co-founder of Tech Lady Mafia, human rights technologist Sabrina Hersi Issa advises scheduling a Personal Inventory Day each month as a way to regularly take stock of where your time is going.
New Year's resolutions are usually centred around a big aspirational goal: I'll work out every day, I'll write a book, I'll never eat junk food. But most of us fail at our resolutions. One problem is that we're setting our goals too high. If you want to reach a huge goal, first you have to set a small one.
From across the coffee shop, I noticed a gentleman walking in with a computer. Not a laptop, mind you. With both hands, he carried a full-on desktop, monitor and console included. Surely he's not ... I thought to myself -- but I was wrong. He plopped the machinery down on a table, plugged in, and ordered his coffee while the rest of us looked on in horror.
January 1, 2018 is no different than December 31, 2017. You probably woke up with big plans to "really make some changes this year," but you know what? It's not going to work. Why? Because you've already decided that waiting until the new year to become the new and improved you is the right course of action.
In 2017, for the first time in my life, I actually stuck to a resolution. What's more, I'd failed at the same resolution -- to make a budget and stick to it -- for many previous years. Now, if you think there's something shameful in a grown person not being able to handle her finances, you're right!
About ten years ago, I went to a New Year's Day brunch party. Frankly, I hadn't really wanted to go. That particular time in my life was a low point; I'd just gone through a breakup and was feeling unusually forlorn, and I wanted to wallow at home. But the hostess was a good friend and she had invited other interesting, cool people to a good restaurant... so I dragged my feeble, mildly hungover self downtown.
Staying motivated enough to work toward our goals can be tough. The minutia of life can get in the way of our lofty dreams - which is where the non-zero method comes in. The idea is simple: Do just one thing every day that help you move toward what you want to achieve. Even if that's just performing one sit up or drinking a glass of water, at least you'll have made some progress.