It's better to give then to receive. So, why do we still expect to receive something after giving?
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You probably know that adding people to your inner circle takes time, but how much time it actually takes to go from strangers to buddies has been somewhat of a mystery -- until now. A new study suggests you need to spend at least 90 hours with someone before they consider you a real friend.
Meeting new people and making good friends gets harder as you get older. You get less adventurous, fall into comfortable routines with significant others, and you don't have school to force you to interact with different groups of people any more. But if you have at least one friend, you do have an easy option for finding some fresh faces to spend time with.
When I was in high school, I found out that my friends didn't like me. One of the girls in my "group" told me I wasn't invited to a birthday party because "everyone" thought I was annoying — which, to be honest, at 15 I probably was — and for months I was ostracised. It took some time for me to worm my way back into the gang, but until then, I was devastated and I swore I would spend the rest of my life being likeable.
Being a good storyteller can improve your presentations at work, boost your social skills and make you more likeable in general. But it's not an ability that comes naturally to everyone. If you're not sure how to go about telling stories that captivate an audience, these simple dos and don'ts will give you a good place to start.
Puns have long been the ugly stepchildren of comedy, derided for generations as the dull weapon of choice of trying-too-hard dads and uncles. But what was once considered the lowest form of humour has quietly risen in the ranks, and in recent years, the pun has gotten a makeover. Thanks to the rise of competitive punning events, including Brooklyn's seven-year old Punderdome event, punning has started to resemble something like art, or at least colourful graffiti.
In comedic improvisation, the principle of "yes and" means that first you agree with your partner's premise, and then you add to it. Without this essential principle, the scene couldn't go anywhere. And while applying "yes and" to real life is a bit of a business-world cliché, I've found that it's a great way to redirect potential arguments into jovial banter, and keep everyone on the same team.
In this episode we're talking about the lost art of conversation-making. Joining us is podcaster and raconteur Ken Plume, who has conducted extensive interviews with the likes of Mel Brooks and John Cleese. We discuss how Ken got his start feeling comfortable talking to just about anyone, how he handles the awkwardness of a cocktail party (hint: It involves a fern) - and then we invent an acronym that will help you handle any conversational challenge. (Sort of.)
Men! Mule Design co-founder Erika Hall has seven ways for you to counteract sexism at work. Some will help you shut down overt sexism; some address more unconscious habits such as interrupting women. And you don't need to be in a position of power to use them. Hall's article is free of filler, so read it all, but here's our favourite tip.
Quietly, all around you, countless times a day, a woman sends a nude picture of herself to a man she's seeing, and the man gives a crappy response that hurts the woman's feelings. (Presumably this also happens in other gender combinations, but it sure is easy to find men who do it to women!) Writer merritt k has categorised the crappy responses so that you can avoid them, and maybe be deemed worthy of more nudes.
Buddying up can help you reach your fitness resolutions - or whatever goal you happen to be chasing. But you don't have to work out together to help each other (couples, breathe a sigh of relief).
You're getting ready for a big night on the town when your companion turns to you and asks, "Do I look OK?" Gulp. Do you fire off a "Yep!" without looking? Do you tell them they always look so, so good? Or do you give them some honest feedback? We asked you what you would say, and this is what you told us.
We don't like to admit it, but a marriage (or any long, cohabiting relationship) looks less like an early romance and more like a business partnership. As organisational psychologist Adam Grant and his wife Allison Sweet Grant explain in Redbook, married life involves a lot of compromise and negotiation. They offer four negotiation techniques for avoiding unhappy compromises.
Android/iOS: Your favourite social network for pretending you have a perfect life is now ready to let everyone know when you're online and lurking. Instagram is adding an activity status indicator to the people in your Direct Messages list, letting you know when they're on and ignoring that last funny video you sent. If you're of the same opinion as me, you're probably wondering how to disable this terrible new feature. Good news, lurkers: You can!
Off-white humour blog McSweeney's has a guide to asking questions at public events, formatted by writer and teacher Meriah Crawford as a final exam. Questions include "How long should my questions be?" and "Is this a good opportunity to explain how the speaker is wrong?" and answers include "Sit your ass back down" and "It's ideal to tell a brief story about yourself first, so the whole audience understands how important you and/or your question are."
There's something magical about cancelling plans last minute - yes, I've heard the John Mulaney joke. You instantly get to do whatever you want and not feel beholden to anyone. True freedom is only a shameful text away. But flaking out is a slippery slope that can lead to a detrimental, and fairly rude, habit. Here's why you get such a rush of relief when your evening suddenly frees up, and how to stop yourself from becoming the person who always bails.