Men have long bemoaned the idea that women can have multiple orgasms, but men can't. Men, after all, have to deal with the frustrating refractory period - after an orgasm, their penises stay limp no matter how much they try to coax them into action. Their energy levels are depleted, anyway, and they often just want to sleep.

Faking orgasms doesn't do anyone any favours. It doesn't feel satisfying for you; if anything, it detracts from your experience because you're more focused on faking convincingly than on enjoying yourself. It doesn't help your partner learn what you actually need to feel pleasure, much less reach orgasm. And in a broader sense, faking orgasm contributes to unrealistic expectations about how orgasms actually work. Together, all of our faking is creating the illusion that orgasms happen easily and spontaneously.

A few months ago, I wrote an article for men who struggle with orgasm. (You can check that article out here.) Today, I'm back to share my advice for women. If you're ready to have your first orgasm, or learn how to orgasm with a partner, here's your game-plan.

I'm willing to bet that nine out of 10 people who read this headline will think, "A dude who has trouble orgasming? Yeah, right." Difficulty reaching orgasm is typically thought of as a female problem, but that's an unfair and harmful stereotype. The reality is that male orgasm is not a guarantee.

If you have no problem attaining an erection, but struggle to finish, here's your new game-plan.

Female ejaculation – commonly known as "squirting" – has been a subject of interest right back to ancient times. Back then, however, it wasn’t a puzzle or taboo. The philosopher Aristotle, who was kicking around Ancient Greece more than 300 years BC, matter-of-factly observed that when women ejaculate, they produce far more liquid than men. And the Kama Sutra, the Hindu sexual text written around 200-400 AD, called the product of squirting ‘female semen’. It’s clear that for some of our ancient sisters ejaculation at orgasm was a normal part of sex.

As with so many aspects of women’s sexuality, however, over the last two millennia female ejaculation became a taboo subject. Then in the mid 20th century its existence was even denied by early sexual researchers and was written off as just incontinence (charming!).