offspring

  • Teach Your Kids Not to Call People ‘Derpy’

    Teach Your Kids Not to Call People ‘Derpy’

    Each new generation of kids comes up with their own slang, which can sound slightly ridiculous and often confusing to the previous generation. In recent years, I’ve had to learn what “yeet” means and what the hell a “VSCO girl” is. I know that when you think someone is the imposter in Among Us, it’s…


  • Don’t Friend Your Kid’s Teacher on Social Media

    Don’t Friend Your Kid’s Teacher on Social Media

    This year, I have seen my son’s fourth grade teacher in person exactly one time — and that one time was a fluke in which I was signing him into school after a morning doctor’s appointment and she happened to walk into the office to collect some paperwork. Other than that, I have had one…


  • How to Raise a Gracious Loser

    How to Raise a Gracious Loser

    My 10-year-old has many wonderful qualities. He’s funny, generous, and curious about the world. He does not, however, like to lose a game. And to be fair, that’s not all that unusual. I think, given the choice, most of us would prefer to win any game we play — otherwise, what is the point of…