Tagged With manners


It’s good to recognise what’s good in your life (even, and especially, when it seems as though the rest is terrible). But if you express that in the form of gratitude journals, prayers or meditation, you’re sort of making that feeling a solitary one. What about the people in your life you’re truly thankful for? Couldn’t you tell them how you feel?

Well, no, a lot of us might say. That sounds super awkward.


Everyone who has a child in a competitive hobby knows the types: The boy who disputes every call the referee makes, the parent who hurls invective from the sidelines, the girl who can barely bring herself to shake hands after her team loses. Playing sports and games is hugely valuable for child development: They learn teamwork, strategy, patience, and get a workout to boot. But things go awry when kids can't place winning and losing in the proper perspective - when a loss is devastating or a win is cause for unseemly gloating.


Here's a cool thing. When you're sick, or allergic, or something flies up your nose, and you spasm and expel mucus, it's polite for anyone around you, including complete strangers, to call attention to it. In English-speaking countries they say "Bless you," in most of Europe they say "Health."

In almost every culture, the polite response is "Thank you." As in "Thank you for calling attention to my embarrassing bodily function." As in "Thank you for making me thank you while I'm probably still dealing with how something inside me is now outside me." As in, "Thank you for alerting me that for the next three months, I'll be having impromptu two-line conversations with strangers, because my body thinks flowers want to kill it."


The term "mansplaining" is relatively new, but the concept is an old one. If you aren't familiar, the term refers to when someone (most often a man, thus mansplain) explains something to someone (typically a female) in a condescending or patronising way. If you're a woman, then chances are this happens to you on a weekly if not daily basis. However, figuring out what to do about it can be a bit challenging.


Imagine that the evidence of someone's lunch is lodged right between her front teeth, and the struggle begins: Do you tell the person? You have to pull it off with grace so both parties can remain dignified, but that's tricky, especially if you barely know her. And by that time, would you seem like a jerk for waiting so long to say anything?


Yum cha is not only delicious, it's a lot of fun eat with friends and family. Still, the dining process can be confusing or intimidating for those who haven't tried it before. If you follow these basic ground rules, you'll look like a yum cha pro.


It's easy to forget manners when you're all alone. From showing up late to meetings and forgetting simple things like "please" and "thank you", otherwise polite and well-behaved humans can come off as complete jerks in the absence of face-to-face contact. Isolation is the culprit, but you don't have to fall prey.