I am two things in the morning: angry and nauseated. I have always been this way, even as a youth, which made getting to physical chemistry at 7am all the more difficult.

Frying an egg for breakfast was simply not an option, but I’d be so hungry during lecture that I’d end up eating my lunch (usually a ham sandwich) for breakfast. Then it hit me: why didn’t I just make two ham sandwiches?

Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert, advice columnist and author of the New York Times bestselling book, My Boyfriend Barfed In My Handbag ... And Other Things You Can’t Ask Martha. Her flagship column, “Ask a Clean Person”, debuted in 2011. Here on Lifehacker, we’ve launched a new iteration of it, focusing on parenting and all the messes it brings. 

There's no magic force field that holds back germs while you shout "five-second rule!" and scoop up your dropped cured meat. Duh, right? Here's how you can prove it.

This is the season when we send our kids off to school with shiny new backpacks, and every year, they bring home the same thing: The first round of back-to-school colds. In our house, with a two-year-old intent on drooling on everyone he touches and a six-year-old still perfecting her personal hygiene practices, pathogens are passed out like hugs, and it's only a matter of time before the whole family is sick.

As a parent, I often feel like a walking stopwatch. "Three more minutes of TV!" "Eight minutes before it's time to brush your teeth!" "Twenty-four minutes until bedtime!"

The fortune-telling game MASH, kept alive over decades by primary-schoolers, requires nothing more than pencil, paper and a friend. Here's how to play this little bonding game.

I am a very big fan of store-bought recess meals, both as a product and a concept. The no-cook, assemble-and-eat boxes of food are convenient, customisable, and fun for all, including actual school children and those who are just children at heart.

I've been both a student and an instructor, and I totally get it. Textbooks are dry and hard to read. But if you don't have time to read the whole chapter like you're supposed to, there is actually a better solution than just glazing your eyes over the first paragraph a few times.

The only thing sadder than opening your lunchbox to find a soggy sandwich is opening your kid's lunchbox at the end of the day to find a completely untouched one. Thankfully, you can prevent soggy, disappointing lunchbox sandwiches by making them with frozen bread.

At the beginning of the school year, every writing assignment, certificate and work of art that your child brings home is a sweet thrill, a memento to hold onto for years to come. But then, soon enough, your house is flooding with papers, and it's only November, dangit.

Studying can feel like a solitary activity - looking back at my student days, I remember sitting alone at a desk with just my textbooks, highlighters, cans of Coke and expanding self-doubt. If I didn't understand a concept, or couldn't find an answer, I'd search deeper into the pages, desperately, thinking maybe there was a clue I had missed. If it still seemed hopeless I'd sleep, rationalising that perhaps somehow the revelation would appear in my dreams. (It usually did not.)

Some people got a great high school education. But some of us were sent to an evangelical Christian school, where we learned that evolution is a lie, Columbus was a cool dude, and Catholics are faking it. For us, and anyone else who suspects their education could use a revisionist refresh, there's the free YouTube channel Crash Course.

Packing school lunches every day can get tedious, and the results can be a little monotonous. (Sorry, my dear child, who has eaten leftover spaghetti and peas for the past five days.) One way to spread out the labour and make things more interesting for your kid's palate is to start a lunch-packing club with other parents.

Bullies can make our lives difficult at any age - even when you're an adult - but you don't have to sit by and take undeserved punishment from someone bigger, louder or meaner than you. Here are a few approaches you can take.

I get it -- textbooks are weighty tomes that feel like they're more useful as a defensive weapon than an engaging read. But it's still important to actually read them instead of treating them as a "find the potential-test-answer" word search.

Being related to a teacher, I have seen the joyous, triumphant highs that accompany my sister Mikaela's profession, and also the lows, when she has seemed on the brink of emotional exhaustion.

When you're divorced, a new school year for your kids means a lot of communication with your ex, and that may, in a word, suck. But as one mother who's been there writes, there's a cardinal rule of parenthood and that is: It's hard and not really about you.

I've got nothing against Dan Carlin's "Hardcore History," but it seems to eat up all the publicity for history podcasts. That's a shame, because the podcast format is a fantastic way to dive into a thirty-hour history of the French Revolution, or snack on a 12-minute account of how Warren G. Harding, betrayed by his corrupt Cabinet, publicly projected all his feelings onto his dog Laddie Boy.

I struggled with writing papers as a student, but then one day I became an instructor and had to read this garbage. Geez, guys.